Heidi Montag draws polarizing reactions. It seems like half of the world hates her, and the other half really hates her. If you’re unaware (lucky you), Montag is one of the “stars” of “reality soap” The Hills on MTV. Montag and her detestable boyfriend Spencer Pratt (ably dismantled here by David Letterman) are the ostensible villains of the program. Strangely, Montag is trying to use her “fame” from the show to launch a singing career.

At this point, Montag’s already had two singles stiff. Frankly, she has little to offer popular music but a decent ass, and that doesn’t even count when our National Remarkable Ass reserves are already filled by Beyonce (international imports from Shakira round it out). Her new single is called “Fashion”. When my 18-month-old son heard it, he clapped; then again, he claps when one of my cats throws up on the carpet, so I’m not sure that his opinion can be trusted.

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How many dirty pictures of this little whore can there be?

Okay, I’m kidding. Mostly. (Please, Mouse, don’t sue me. Joke. Satire. Mostly.)

Honestly though, this is just the warning shot. Remember when the first “maybe she’s not a virgin” rumbles began to swirl around Britney? As fast as The Mouse is trying to generate their own next wave of teen pop (Miley, The Jonas Brothers, The High School Musical kids, etc.), the kids are just as quickly making dumb decisions to hasten its end. Vanessa Hudgens has already had her photo scandal, Miley’s on like her fourth . . . how long until the first Jonas paternity suit?

It’s fairly obvious that Cyrus’s fame has made her a target. Allegations of phone hacking, etc. indicate that there is now cache among less-savory media types when it comes to scoring images of this girl. She could help her own case by, let’s see, NOT storing racy photos of herself in an unsecure location. Her handlers should also make sure that her personal electronic devices have better security. If the photos are in the world because she was dumb enough to send them to someone, well, I guess she’s the one who has to explain it to Walt’s Frozen Corpse.

As it is, I’m sure it won’t ding her popularity much. It might even motivate some young men to pick up her material. If she does view herself as a role model in any fashion, then she should probably find a way to curtail her exhibitionist impulses. And stay away from her back-up dancers.

Check out this new article from Lucas and me at Newsarama.

Building on work that Lucas did in two previous installments, I take a look at the current picture of the Marvel Universe via Secret Invasion. Drop by and contribute some of your own theories!

Last week, I reviewed the new Titans #1 from DC. I didn’t like it.

What’s of interest is less the review, which I think is pretty straight-forward, and more the reaction to it. I’m not going to talk about the threads at Newsarama or Comic Book Resources; I just wanted to point out a couple of interesting spin-off discussions.

Valerie D’Orozio of Occasional Superheroine uses the issue as springboard to talk about moderated forums and civility.

Heidi MacDonald at The Beat takes a view at the bigger post-fest, complete with a couple of links.

I will address one recurring point in the Newsarama thread. Do I have an agenda? Yes. I want to read good comics. There you have it.

Granted, this one is kind of like shooting fish in a barrel. And that’s actually appropriate, given that this one is all about shooting.

The first two lines:

“I Got My Sights Set On You
And I’m Ready To Aim”

All right, kid. I don’t mean to break your assuredly achy-breaky heart, but having your sights set on someone means that you’re already aiming. This would be akin to The Beatles singing:

And I, I tell you something,
I wanna hold your hand that I’m already holding

Or perhaps, Color Me Badd:

I wanna sex you up as we’re sexing

You see my point.

THE SCREAM FACTORY IS HERE!!!

Basics here.

MySpace and directions on free comics downloading here.

Dig it.

WIRED posted a new article from me today in the How-To wiki. It’s a basic intro to properly storing comics. Check it out here. The fun/truly strange thing about that one is that the photos originated in Casa de Brownfield. That’s my thermostat. That’s one of my filing cabinets. That’s my beloved old copy of Justice League of America #21 from 1963. Truly weird. Enjoy!

Best Shots Extra
Secret Invasion #1
From: Marvel Comics
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Leinil Francis Yu and Mark Morales
Color: Laura Martin
Lettering: Chris Eliopoulos
Review by Troy Brownfield

It basically goes without saying that the stakes for Secret Invasion are rather high. That doesn’t just go for the characters of the Marvel Universe, many of whom are left in precarious situations by the end of the first issue. It goes for Marvel itself. The book isn’t exactly a make-or-break proposition for the entire company, but myriads of groundwork, time, and effort have gone into building this particular event.

It’s also no secret (no pun intended) that we live in an era where people are somewhat skeptical of major events and crossovers. The term “event fatigue” has even been coined to address this. There are even some out there that feel (and they’ll no doubt start another thread about it) that any time that someone (me) gives a positive review of any kind of event, that they’re attempting to toe some invisible company line.

Here’s the basic truth: Marvel’s had a good run with contained events as of late. Messiah Complex worked. World War Hulk worked. Annihilation worked. And if the first issue is any indication, Secret Invasion is going to work.

Read the rest here.

Chelsea Clinton again blew a chance to respond to a question that would make her mother seem like a stronger candidate. Once again, she was confronted with a question about her mother’s public handling of the Lewinsky affair, and once again, she muffed it.

There was an opportunity here for the Clinton campaign to be forthcoming. There was an opprotunity here to attack that lingering issue head-on.

Let me make one thing clear: I don’t think that a president’s sex life is our business. I don’t care. I honestly, 100% don’t give a shit. I’m less worried about where the president spends his night than whether or not he’ll put down a children’s book and take care of business.

The original question turned not on how Hillary felt, but on how the situation made her look weak by her lack of response. This is a sensible question. He didn’t ask if Hillary cried, he didn’t ask how long Bill slept on the couch, and he didn’t ask if Monica did something Hillary wouldn’t do. He asked about the public reaction to an issue that the whole country discussed for over a year.

Chelsea could have said, “I think that my mother has proven herself often enough since then.”

She could have said, “My mother left that behind and became a U.S. Senator. I’d say she handled it fine.”

She could have said, “I fail to understand the substance of the question, because my mother is one of the final two Democratic candidates for the highest office in the land.”

Instead, she fell back on “None of your business.” Not once, but twice.

So much for trying to restore honesty and transparency to the White House.

One More Thing: Before I get the usual garbage from both sides, my political take this time around is pretty even: all of our choices kinda suck.

I’ve been pondering what seems to me to be a big blunder: the Sex and The City film. However, I think that I’ve just heard of one that might be bigger: Kathie Lee Gifford will now be hosting the fourth hour of Today on NBC.

Let me rewind a minute: I liked Sex and The City. And I liked the end of the series, which essentially wrapped the characers in a nice little bow. By opening the story threads back up (and by shuffling off Big, one way or another, a fact that’s all but guaranteed in the trailer), the creators risk angering fans who felt like they had a complete run of tales capped by a fitting ending.

And that’s just part of it. Even at its peak, Sex didn’t have TV’s biggest audience. Granted, syndication has spread the audience a bit, but let’s look at the HBO numbers. During its final season, the show was regularly drawing 7.9 million viewers. An additional 3 million joined for the series finale. If we call the base audience 8 million, and call the base ticket price $10, then the studio needs to get every single one of those people in the door to make $80 million. Granted, that would be decent box office, but not an earthquake. Additionally, sources place the budget (pre-advertising) at $65 million. I suppose that it could break even, or function as a loss-leader for DVD sales. At the same time, you’re risking a lot of goodwill by undoing that “happy ending”.

What do you think?

My latest piece for WIRED Magazine is now on the site; you can check it out here, if you’re so inclined.

It remains to be seen if I shall receive near-immediate hate mail as I did with the Sidekicks piece. Remember, gentle readers, it’s all in good humor. Enjoy!

Check out our latest Best Shots Extra here.

Updated with added Caleb . . .

I’m glad that James Robinson is coming back to the DC fold in a big way. I loved Starman and Golden Age, and he did a great job helping to bring back the JSA. But his new Justice League title, covered at Newsarama . . . I’m not so sure.

The main hang-up I have with it is the constant failure of books that strive to do the whole “proactive” thing. It works for an arc or two, but it never carries onward in any constructive capacity. Perhaps Robinson is the guy to do it, but I’m not sure.

It’s like this: the super-hero, almost by nature, is a reactive beast. Kind of like your local fire department. Sure, the FD can educate people about fire prevention, but they do their BIG WORK when something is burning. Same with super-heroes. They can patrol the hell out of their respective cities, but they do their main thing when the aliens arrive, the volcano erupts, etc.

Therefore, proactive is hard to write. If the world’s greatest detective (Batman) still finds himself showing up after crimes, then, no offense, how are Hal and Ollie going to get there first?

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Secret Invasion roars into comic shops soon. And it comes without a whole lotta extra books to buy.

Here’s the panel report at Newsarama. As you can see, there are going to be a number of tie-ins and crossovers. In fact, it’s indicated in the conversation that Secret Invasion almost tacitly requires that you read New Avengers and Mighty Avengers to keep up.

Other titles are . . .

A Secret Invasion Front Line, where hopefully we’ll spared comparisons of the Skrulls to Al-Qaeda (but I’m not holding my breath).

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All thanks to Mr. Browfield for recently talking up the tattoo work I’ve had done.  It’s been a labor of love in more ways that one over the last 4-5 years, and I’m happy to say it’s truly complete now. 

Whereas this was how it was 6 months ago…

Now it’s truly come to life.  A little breakdown of the characters and details??  Going left to right…

The first character, the one in green was the first original piece Patrick Cornolo did for me back in 2003. I had the idea to have him design a punk version of Green Fury.
Underneath that is a passage from Bob Seger’s “Fire Lake”, a tribute to my late father, and the song I danced with my mom to when I got married in September of 2007.

Next is Firestar from Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends a cartoon staple of mine in the early Eighties.
Then there’s a couple of head shots, one of the original Firestorm and his contemporary counterpart. Below them is a shot of the New Teen Titans original über-babe, Starfire.

Underneath that’s a free liger that Mr. Cornolo did for me for free, but that’s got nothin’ to do with this. Heh.

Right above said liger is where we start to get to the newest stuff, as of March 10th…
I had Patrick add a little tribute to an old friend of mine who, sadly, recently passed away — I got his old jersey number 20.
As you work your way up, there’s a shot of Firehawk, Firestorm’s better half. Right above that, I had Patrick work something else into the flames: my beloved Denver Broncos’ team logo.

Running up the back of my leg, when I got this custom design of the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four, I added the 13 at the bottom as a tribute to my wife’s father who had just passed away around the time of that session. It was always his magic number.
And placed squarely on my calf is one of my favorite individual pieces, Patrick’s Rydenesque take on Wildfire of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
It’s funny how much I dig that one in particular, because I got the worst skin irritation from that one during the healing process that I had to see the doctor for cellulitis. Ouch!!!
But once it got rehabbed it looked pretty stellar and still does.