I must preface this by saying that the only reason I probably would ever have been interested in this song is because The Rock was in it, but after listening to it again this morning, you got to love a song that can borrow from Ricky Martin and John Denver at the same time.

The video quality isn’t so great, but enjoy… this is one of my kitschy favorites. I forgot at the end that Rock laid the smack down on the big guy.

P.S. If anybody can find me a video of Rock telling The Coach to dance the Charleston, I would love to see it. The closest video of that era that I can find on YouTube is when Rock told Coach he wasn’t praying right when he said, “What up, G?” and then Rock’s eyes got all bulgy and he literally kicked Coach’s ass out of the picture.

Results from Gerweck.net

TNA had a show last night? Yawwwwwwwwwwwwn… Really? I guess I hadn’t been paying attention to them since the last turkey they dropped.

They opened the show with Jeremy Boring hassling Kurt Angle about the neck injury he suffered overseas last weekend in South Korea. Angle said that his doctor told him not to compete. Be careful, Kurt… that’s what got Torrie Wilson fired. Angle also dropped a bunch of WWE trademarks into his lingo.

Meanwhile, one of TNA’s random broads hassled Scott Steiner about Angle’s injury when he arrived, and Steiner was happy. Kevin Nash also got out of his limo. Then, Jeremy Boring hassles Samoa Joe as he got out of his limo (no wonder TNA has astronomical travel expenses), and he was bummed out about Angle’s injury, but when he found out about Nash riding with Steiner, he got angry… why? Because Nash pays up to stock the wet bar in the limo.

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When was the last time you watched Backlash and thought, “Hey, they’re setting up some pretty cool stuff for this summer!” I do, and I think it was back when the years all started with “1″… until now.

I mean, this isn’t hyperbole or sucking up to get some free DVDs (although that’s always appreciated)… this is The Russ, whose picture appears in the dictionary next to the word “hateful”, who hasn’t shilled anything for Vince in years, who is so down on the modern wrestling product that he’s resigned himself to watch matches from 20 years ago to maintain his appreciation and enjoyment of any pro wrestling product. This was an awesome show, and totally worth the money to watch it.

In fact, I can’t remember the last time I thought a wrestling show was this great that I actually had hope and faith in the business again, but I guess I have, and I really hope WWE can keep my hope and faith throughout the summer, as they’ve really set the table for some great stuff between this show and what took place on Raw. In fact, the main event was so much fun to watch, that I would have to make it a candidate for Match of the Year, and I don’t generally throw that term around lightly.

This show also marks the debut of Mick Foley as color commentator, and as long as he sticks to advancing the psychology and storytelling of the matches, Smackdown should be set for years. They couldn’t have picked a better guy. Anyway, enough gushing, I probably should go recap this thing.

Results courtesy of Gerweck.net.

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I have a thousand posts on pro wrestling now on my blog, which comprises about 40% of the content. I wrote about something that occurred in my pro wrestling “career” lately that made me decide to turn away from the business for good as a professional. It might be too much of a tell-all, but I had to get it down so that I could move on and stop worrying about what my next step in the business was going to be. Anyway, check it out here.

Hopefully I’ll get that Backlash review done before the end of the week too… it’s been a mite hectic lately.

WWE Backlash: Children of the Corn this Sunday on PPV.

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Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe.

Maybe this is because I don’t get into fighting games, but Batman should always win, no matter what, even against the guy with four arms.

If you forgot about the last time somebody tried this, look here.

Venkman: Grab your stick!
Unison: HOLDING IT!
Venkman: Heat ‘em up!
Unison: SMOKIN’!
Venkman: Bang ‘em hard!
Unison: READY!
Venkman: Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown… THROW IT!

Out in October for all your consoles…

Read for yourself here and here. Earlier this week, we got attacked by a meteorite, and then it was covered up with some lame story about National Guard airplanes. I suppose that’s because they don’t want people driving up to Tipton trying to get superpowers or unleash a zombie apocalypse or something.

Here’s a joke that only Birdsong and Troy will get: when the quakes happen at work, it really only feels like George Weliever is walking by.

Results from gerweck.net 

The show is from the Tsongas Arena, named after former Massachusetts senator Paul Tsongas. You might remember him as a former 1992 Democratic presidential candidate who ran in third place to Bill Clinton and Jerry Brown.

TNA’s new slogan is “Cross the Line”. Were they unionized?

After about 10 minutes of promos, we go to yet ANOTHER promo where TOTAL NONSTOP SUCK-ASS Don West is asking the most obvious question: will Joe or Angle win? I don’t know, Don… why don’t you cut backstage to Vinny Ru and find out for us? HAR HAR HAR

Now that that’s out of my system…

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Hey, I guess it’s this Sunday, so maybe I should do a preview, right? I mean, I guess I ain’t really got nothin’ else to do today… remember all the matches are gimmick matches with the “6 sides of steel”.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Latin American Xchange vs. Scott Steiner & Petey Williams vs. The Rock ‘n Rave Infection vs. Super Eric & Kaz vs. Black Reign & Rellik (Cuffed in the Cage Match): The stipulation is that the guys have to handcuff everybody else to the cage. The match ends with the last man with his hands free. If only one guy can win, then what’s the point of having teams anyway? This sounds like an incredibly stupid match with too many guys involved. Steiner will probably win, since he gets a title shot next month.

Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Salinas vs. Rhaka Khan vs. Traci Brooks vs. Christy Hemme vs. Roxxi Laveaux vs. Jacqueline (Queen of the Cage Match): Another idiotic reverse battle royal where people that obviously should get into the cage will avoid doing so because they’re not going over. The first two Knockouts that end up in the cage will have a one-on-one match then. Sounds terribly exciting… or maybe just terrible. I think Traci and Jackie will end up together at the end, with Traci going over.

TNA Women’s Champion Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs. Gail Kim & O.D.B.: I’m not sure I really care now. They have beaten this boring feud into the ground long enough now. I would venture to say that Gail and ODB will win.

B.G. James vs. Kip James: The match everybody wanted to see… 10 years ago. I think it’s admirable that TNA employs the older folks… kinda like the 80-year-old guy that greets people at Wal-Mart. It’s genuinely a toss-up, but I’ll say Kip should go over if they want a long-term feud out of this.

Booker T & Sharmell vs. Robert Roode & Payton Banks (Mixed Tag Team Match): Yet another reiteration of this feud with the women involved. It’s about time to either let Booker win the feud and everyone move on or let Roode win the feud and elevate him a little bit. It seems like these are the only matches Booker has done on PPV since he joined TNA in November.

TNA X-Division Champion Jay Lethal vs. Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy vs. Consequences Creed (Xscape Match): The rules of this match is that it’s pinfall or submission rules until there’s only two guys left, and then the only way to win is by escaping the cage. I’ll say Lethal and Creed end up against each other at the end with Lethal retaining.

Christian Cage, Kevin Nash, Rhino, Sting & Matt Morgan vs. Tomko, A.J. Styles, Brother Ray, Brother Devon & James Storm (Lethal Lockdown): This is TNA’s version of War Games. I think that Team Tomko will win; I’m not really sure why, but that’s what I think will happen. Joe will win in the main event, so they don’t want the crowd getting too hot beforehand.

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe (if Joe loses, he leaves pro wrestling): Samoa Joe. Is there any doubt?

There’s only one thing better than this:

And that’s this:

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You may have already heard that Ric Flair will be salsa dancing in the new CBS show Secret Talents of the Stars, but there are plans now for WWE to work heavily with NBC Universal to place wrestlers and divas in this summer’s reality TV shows. The reason being is that WWE will have a post-Wrestlemania marketing campaign that will underscore the fact that they were the original “reality” programming and will lead up to casting a new $1,000,000 Tough Enough series to air before Summer Slam. Here are some of the rumored shows and castings:

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Results from Gerweck.net:

I don’t know about you, but I thought all of the news coming out of Orlando last week leading up to Wrestlemania last night was pretty dull.

And then, as if to appease my disappointment, there was Robbie-Gate.

If you didn’t watch TNA Impact last Thursday night, then you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. WWE wrestler Robbie McAllister was in attendance at last Thursday’s live TNA Impact show. It’s been reported that he was there just to visit his friend Johnny Devine, but oops! That’s in violation of an edict sent down earlier in the week from WWE management to stay away from situations where they could be seen with TNA wrestlers.

Obviously, there is a point to such a decision. There were literally thousands of wrestling fans in town for the festivities last week, and many of them probably went to Universal Studios where TNA tapes their shows. Stupidly, WWE asked for some of this by staging events there as well, but hey, I guess you go where the people are instead of expecting them to come to you. I doubt they would get a welcome reception at Downtown Disney. By the way, WWE, there were still TNA guys getting into your events and past your security. Just so you know… hopefully, these guys will not include last weekend in their work experience on their job applications with the TSA. By the way, AJ Styles, Earl Hebner, and other TNA wrestlers got into this event and told fans to watch TNA Impact.

The best part now is that some of the TNA wrestlers are mad at their own TV production people for putting Robbie on camera and outing him in the first place as a cheap publicity stunt. Apparently these guys were never around for TNA’s other cheap publicity stunts with those guys that got kicked off of Survivor, Pacman Jones as tag team champion, offering Bob Knight a job, etc. So, obviously they would be shocked SHOCKED I SAY that TNA would engage in YET ANOTHER cheap publicity stunt like that. Here’s what I have to say about it: if Robbie wanted to watch Impact so badly, do it in your hotel room, but telling a wrestler to stay in his hotel room when everybody else is out partying is like telling a Catholic priest to keep his hands off the altar boys.

You know what? I’m going to use the same argument that I use on my father-in-law every time he complains about not getting to see his grandkids often enough. The roads go in both directions, so do the cars and the airplanes. If Robbie wanted to hang out with his buddy Johnny Devine so badly, then he should have done it some other time in the week that wasn’t a TV night or let Johnny come to him. Don’t do it the week that every jackoff mark is going to be watching your every move and ready to snap every misstep with his jackoff camera phone. Don’t go to the other company’s turf and expect that no one will know you are there. It’s just utter stupidity on his part, and he got what he deserved.

By the way, as far as this “edict” from management goes, it apparently didn’t apply to Jeff Jarrett and Johnny Ace, Edge and Christian Cage, MVP, Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin, and the Undertaker (who was seen with Booker T). But, hey, I guess only Vince McMahon ordered the wrestlers to do stay away from TNA… it’s not like it was LINDA or anything. She’s the REAL boss.

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Time to shoot on the granddaddy of them all. This time Birdsong sits in and gives his obviously pro-Hulk Hogan rhetoric on this year’s Wrestlemania. (Actually, that’s not true. This is the first time I’ve read something of his for more than 5 minutes were the big yellow-and-red cheese isn’t mentioned, and that’s not Captain Marvel either.)

Anyway, here’s the opening question for the roundtable: will Floyd Mayweather’s involvement in Wrestlemania help WWE recoup his $20 million price tag?

Jonathan Birdsong: Buyrates go up in general when it comes to Wrestlemania. In theory this is a good card, so depending on the performances I imagine DVD sales of this show will be up too. It has the potential to be GREAT, but in the same breath it also has the potential to be mediocre. There’s nobody from the International scene (Japan/Mexico) wrestling on the card, so we’re not really seeing anything new here. $20 mil, recoup…smells like Jay Leno and Karl Malone in WCW all-over again. There will be budget-cuts come Summer Slam!

The Russ: I’m not sure how much money Donald Trump made last year, but did he really do anything to help sell the show besides show up on video every so often on Raw? They didn’t even do anything on The Apprentice with any cross-promotion. At least Mayweather is heavily involved in doing appearances and physically getting involved on Raw, and his name gets a lot of run on the sports talk shows, which is WWE’s target demographic. But, you’re right… Wrestlemania is traditionally the end of WWE’s fiscal year, and April is generally when people get released. If they don’t do some Mike Tyson-like numbers, I would bet that a lot of folks will get whacked next month and they will quite rightly point the finger at this particular business decision.

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Results from gerweck.net

Last night was a good night to go to bed early and catch up on your daylight savings sleep. The first four matches were decent to very good, but beyond that, it was a great big heaping pile of suck. Any time you involve dead aquatic creatures in a match and beat people with them, you know that something is terribly wrong.

A nice video package opened the show telling us about the sacrifices that TNA wrestlers make in the ring to entertain the fans and achieve their goals. Yeah, I guess that making $1000 an appearance, a hotel room, a rental car, and getting free reign around Universal Studios twice a month doesn’t play into it… they make this sacrifice ONLY to entertain us.

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