NOTE: Yes, I’ve been gone for almost a month, I know. Sorry about that, here’s the ceremony for the 2005-2007 Autopsy Awards, I should be back next week with the begining of my catch-up columns for the past month.

A glamorous award ceremony, with a celebrity host, and even more celebrity presenters including Chuck Norris, Adam West and Johnny Five. Also, non-celebrity presenters, and the musical performances of Dazzler, The Village People, and more (but not much more)!
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“Dammit Cindy! I can’t fight foreign invaders in a Steely Dan T-shirt!” Max Keane, The Programme #06.

Weeeeelcoooome to the last column of the year! I hope this was a good year for you all, and if it wasn’t, I hope next year’s better. Straight into this week’s content, last column’s Dissect This! was busted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, who correctly pointed out that Salakk’s name was misspelled as “Salaak”. Badge for you, MKF! This is the last week to vote for the Autopsy Awards, by the way, so if you haven’t voted, check out the nominees and e-mail your votes here.
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“HHAAAAHH!! MAKES BALLS REVOLVE LIKE SPINNING DERVISHES…!” Vas, aka “Love Sausage”, former Soviet superhero, after taking a drink of his homebrewn booze, which, appropriately, has a skull and crossbones for label.

Well, sort of time this week, and let’s dive straight into this. Both Dominik B.and Miss Kitty Fantastico made the Dissect This! from last column, and it was of course the fact that the Wasp had wings at normal size; when she only has wings while shrunk. Badge for both of them! Rock-Me Amodeo added that 616 Wasp has experimented with retaining her wings as she grows back to full size, getting to keep them at some 54 inches tall, and also, her powers might work differently in the Ultimate universe, being a mutant, she could have also had a progression of her powers or a secondary mutation. That’s why it had a relatively low rating.
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The Atom and the Amazon, lobsters, giant lizards, The Ultimates V3 (at long last!), tiny chairs, Batmen, surfing Kryptonians, and yes, what you’ve all been expecting: Granny Goodness and her rod.
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“Rex, is that beryllium in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” Grace Choi, Batman And The Outsiders V2.

Kind of late again, but are you gonna do? Oh, you’re going to complain? Ah, well, then next time I’ll try to have the column on time. No autopsy awards results, because I want more votes, there’s a few ties. If I don’t get votes enough to break the ties, I’ll make my votes count double. What’s happening several of my readers haven’t voted, and some haven’t even commented at all in the past weeks… Have I let you down, o faithful readers? Please head over to the nominees, then vote by sending an e-mail to lordmagnusen at gmail.com.

Last week’s Dissect This was aptly spotted by Roy, of whom I expected no less, since this was a Teen Titans-related thing. Robin’s gloves were lacking the scalloped blades they now have, like Batman’s. Badge for Roy, who’s one condecoration away from becoming a Lieuetnant in the HDSC!
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“A bazillion bucks in C.G.I. and he still looks like Shrek.” Anonymous moviegoer about a Hulk movie, She-Hulk V2 #23. I knew I wasn’t alone.

Yes, I’m late, I know it. Let’s get this show started, then. That quote up there is exactly what I think about the Hulk movie by Ang Lee… thank Stan another one is coming. Welcome to the 50th column! Last week we had a creator sighting, as Scott Wegener, talented artist for Atomic Robo admits to certain Mignola similarities, all in good humor, in the comments section of the last column (in the blog).
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“They’re giant insects. Of course they have eye-beams.” Tesladyne field operative, Atomic Robo #02.

What’s going on? Why am I not getting more votes for the Autopsy Awards? This is outrageous! Get your lazy asses over to your e-mails and send those votes (see last column, the third Special for the nominees) to lordmagnusen at gmail.com! Still up to date, here’s the column on last week’s comics, but let me tell you first that NOBODY found the Dissect This! from last week! The problem was that Donna Troy’s boots did not have heels people… I know it’s not Mary Marvel, but still…

Before moving on to the picks, you’ll see something new in the Dissections. Each book title now has the publisher’s name next to it, in parenthesis. Why? Because I had to go over almost 50 columns to see which company had the most dissections; and even though the figures are accurate as to how they relate to each other, they’re still only approximated… and I want to have an easier time counting them for next years Autopsy Awards. Same thing with the authors, I’m going to start counting their dissections after finishing each column, to save myself the trouble next time.
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I got your Autopsy Awards nominees right here! The voting will be via e-mail, because I couldn’t manage to set up them damn web polls… Send your votes to lordmagnusen at gmail.com, in the following form (each nomination has a code): “W01, A03, C02…”

Some of the awards are not subject to vote, as they are given solely on a numeric basis (most Dissected company, etc), or specially awarded for extraordinary “merit”. Of course, the text for each dissection is the original one from when they were published, but I’ve added (mostly) new comments for all. Let’s get started with the Best Writing Dissection nominees: (more…)

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“Kid… You’re fired. We get back to Earth, you’re demoted to Excalisuck or some damn team.” Wolverine, to Armor, Astonishing X-Men V3 #23.

Alright, so this column is actually out on time; as I’m finishing it on early Wednesday morning when it’s due on Thursday. Yet, all this rushing to get on track did make me forget that… this past Sunday, November 11th (not 12th, as I said a few weeks ago), was the column’s second birthday!!! Yes, two years ago The Nitpicker’s Column made it’s first appearance, in issue #549 of the now sadly extinct Comic Book Electronic Magazine (or CBEM, for shorts, you can check the still read-worthy archive here).

Editor David LeBlanc generously accepted my offer of writing this new column, and said in his editorial, about the first one “The Emag is also on the move, ever-changing, ever-evolving. After the recent success of COMICS OBSCURA in our pages we were offered another new column which should prove a bit interesting. Some of you may react strongly - either agree or disagree with the analysis offered. My criteria is that it is on topic and written well. Check out THE NITPICKER starting this week and see if you have an opinion.”
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“I’ve got Nazi all over my suit! And I just had it cleaned…” Wildcat (Ted Grant), JSA: Classified 31.

Here I am trying to catch up, so I’ll make the intro to this column (devoted to comics published on 10-13) short and sweet. Last week’s Dissect This! was that Wolverine’s eyes were colored brown, instead of blue. This week’s Dissector’s Pick for Best Book goes to Superman Confidential #8, in which Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning tell a story of Superman’s first meeting with the New Gods, with excellent art by Chris Batista (inked by Cam Smith and colored by Jason Wright), which reminds of me of a good Jack Kirby yarn.
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NOTE: I’m an idiot, and this column has been in suspended animation as a draft for more than a week. Please forgive me.

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“I need a Commodore Sixty-Four.” Hank Pym, Mighty Avengers #5.

Sorry for the lateness, this column is for comics published the week before this one, and should have come out on Thursday or Friday as usual, but I’ve been swamped with a lot of stuff. Let’s get started with the Dissect This!, which was the fact that Hal Jordan is shown after killing Kilowog, but he’s only wearing one power ring, when by then he already had like ten. What are the Dissector’s Picks of the Week, you say? Well, the best book for this week wasn’t published the week in question, but about a month ago or so, and it’s Atomic Robo #1. Yes, it’s a blatant Hellboy rip-off, with a robot instead of a demon, but it’s well written, with snappy dialogue like “Don’t tell me I’m in the wrong mountain base”, and a simple, but engaging plot, all by Brian Clevinger. The art by Scott Wegener is cartoony, in synch with the book’s light tone and the (current) setting of the late 30s, and the colors by Ronda Pattison are clean, but not bland, like I usually complain about similar coloring. Plus, Robo was created by Nikola Tesla, which along with the pulp theme is what drew me to pick up the book… and I don’t regret it.
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“I’m getting lectured on CHILD SAFETY from a man who’s gone through FOUR ROBINS?” Wally West (obviously to Batman), The Flash V2.

Yes, I know, this column is about a week late. My lateness is mostly due to the fact that I’m doing an earlier shift at work, which means I arrive there at a busier hour than before, thus having less free time to write. Also, I’ve been busy with the organization of a charity RPG event last Sunday, which turned out quite well. Check out my deviantArt gallery for pictures of the event, and of Halloween. How was everybody’s Halloween? I had a blast, with a party at home a few days before, a small celebration at work, and trick or treating with my kid for the first time around the neighborhood. In fact, I hadn’t trick or treated since I left the US, back in 1984 was the last time I went out for candy.
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“Look! Up in the sky! It’s… Actually, I don’t know who that is!” Anonymous bystander, who doesn’t recognize Wonder Girl in her new costume.

No more Nitpicker!!! So, here we are, in the first ever issue of The Dissector, which, nevertheless, is #44. Why? Because I hate unnecessary re-launches and new #1. I like history to show, mileage to be noticed, age to be worn as a badge of distinction. I accepted New Mutants V2, and when I learned to love it, BAM, they rename and renumber it to New X-Men: Academy X, which then gets renamed to just New X-Men. Then we have New Avengers, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (they made that right again). Batman & The Outsiders, New Excalibur (that fiasco is over too), and I can go on.
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Dissect: 2. to analyze and interpret minutely.

The Nitpicker doesn’t exist anymore, but as you can see, it’s not really gone, just renamed and with a new look. Now it’s called The Dissector, and that snazzy logo you see there was designed by my lovely and talented friend Nysie. Thank you Nysie, you now have the honorary rank of Admiral in the newly renamed Honorary Dissector Scout Corps… so it’s doubly honorary…
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“Whafukupmudafuka?” Pony Moore aka “Mushmouth”, meaning “How are you doing, Iron?”, in Iron And The Maiden #3.

Welcome to this week’s column, right on time, if I might say. That jewel up there is an example of exaggerated Ebonics, and I just loved the whole sequence where Pony’s dialogue is subtitled. Before letting you know what the picks are this week, I need to say that last column I had a nit called “”BART WHO? I’M JUST A STRIPPER WITH MY SKIN PAINTED ORANGE.”, about the Green Arrow-Black Canary Wedding special, where I mentioned that I only rated it as a 7 because I couldn’t see Starfire using her powers… well, I had another look at the issue and she is indeed seen flying around, flaming tamarafro blazing. So it goes up to a ten, which raises the average for that column to 6.1. Not much, but it needed to be said.
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