You are not a pirate. Get that damn thing out of your ear.

Sincerely yours,
Everyone under the age of 40.

Who’s the bigger dumbass: UFC star Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, who was arrested for felony hit and run while driving a vehicle that had a picture of his face painted on the side, or washed-up comedian/walking disaster Andy Dick, who was busted at a Sam’s Club after groping a teenage girl and peeing on the sidewalk at a Buffalo Wild Wings. Discuss.

Or maybe not:

Comic Book Resources has an exclusive look at the first color artwork from Terry Dodson’s run on Uncanny X-Men. As you would expect, it’s filled with, shall we say, “huge tracts of land”. Beyond that, it’s pretty good stuff.

There’s also a pic of a Michael Turner cover for issue #500:

Let’s see… I count 15 X-Men, and zero feet. No background, either. Yep, that’s definitely a Michael Turner drawing. (Actually, I really do kind of like it. It’s definitely one of the cooler covers Turner drew.)

And for the love of God, would somebody please redesign Dazzler’s costume (as seen in the Dodson drawing of the X-Women)? She’s been wearing that blue monstrosity for over 20 years.

So much for fact-checking. From KHOU-11, a Houston television station that I am sad to say is headquarted mere blocks away from my home, comes this:

WWE chairman hurt in freak accident

KHOU.com staff report

HOUSTON — WWE Chairman Vince McMahon was injured in a freak accident in San Antonio Monday night. Just moments after giving away $500,000 in “McMahon’s Million Dollar Mania,” McMahon was crushed by a large electric sign that fell from the AT&T Center.
The extent of his injuries was unclear, but he was rushed to the hospital. WrestleMania officials planned to update fans on McMahon’s condition at a press conference in Houston Tuesday. WWE stars were scheduled to be on hand at the Toyota Center before filming SmackDown and ECW at the arena.

Here’s the “accident”:

Colt Cabana tortures Shawn Spears’s favorite stuffed animal:

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Perhaps you’ve heard that Vince McMahon, Chairman of the WWE, is giving away $1 million to lucky fans every week in an effort to boost struggling ratings for Monday Night Raw. Last night was the first night of the sweepstakes, and lucky for us, it took place live during the show. Let’s take a look at how it went:

Yeah, that’s right–Vince McMahon got Rick Roll’d on live television. That, as they say, totally reeks of awesomeness.

I count 15 characters, and not one single foot. Wolverine seems to be missing his waist, as well, unless he’s finally started succumbing to the ravages of time and taken to hiking his pants up to his sternum like an old man. There’s no background either, just a gaggle of characters huddled together in a very uninspired team pose. I understand the appeal of Turner’s art, even though I don’t find it particularly appealing myself. I’d be really curious to see what a comic penciled by Turner with someone like Keith Giffen on layouts and someone like Kevin Nowlan on inks would look like. Probably nothing like a Turner comic, I’m guessing.

I do like the fact that he included Longshot in the group. That makes me feel nostalgic in ways that dressing the team in their costumes from 15 years ago can’t.

Oh, and there’s an interview at Newsarama in which Axel Alonso and Nick Lowe say nothing interesting about a major storyline that will apparently feature lots of Iceman. Joy.

The chihuahua was a nice touch:

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Happy 75th birthday to the Redheaded Stranger!

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Part 1:

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1. Samosas

2. Aishwarya Rai

3. Bollywood Superman:

Is there anything better than two big hosses beating the hell out of each other in the middle of a wrestling ring? Well, sure there is, but this is still pretty cool nonetheless. From WCW in 1994, here’s Vader vs. “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes:

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