I am shocked –SHOCKED, I say — that a network television show that manufactures pop music stars could be accused of ANY malfeasance.
EVER.
Pshaw!!!

Update!
Video of the sorry affair.

On a recent appearance on NBC’s The Today Show, Jenna Bush discussed her impending wedding. Among her observations regarding being the daughter of the president, she said, “I’m not that glamorous.”

No shit.

I’m not sure if there’s a backlash brewing out there yet, but if not, let’s start one.

I’m officially sick of hearing about Leona Lewis.

I don’t care that Simon Cowell discovered her on one of his British TV shows. I don’t care that he groomed her for stardom. I don’t care that she’s blee-hee-hee-ding love all over the damn place.

I just resent that’s there’s a vast conspiracy by huge, mediocore-entertainment-promoting entities (American Idol, Oprah’s show, etc.) to cram this woman down our collective throats. The “buzz” around Leona Lewis couldn’t have been more manufactured if had rolled off of a Ford line. Please, America, let this one go. If diva history is any indication, she’s already destined for marriage to an older man or washed-out performer, followed by a slow side to Vegas. The only one to escape the trap is Mariah, and that’s quite frankly because many men of all ages still entertain the thought of banging her like a screen door. Forget Leona Lewis. You don’t have to buy it just because they sell it.

That was painful to watch, and I blame neither candidate for it, really, the Republican OR the Democrat.
The less people see of that performance by ABC News, the better.

Well, at a certain someone’s behest, I caught up on GA/BC today. I hadn’t read since the same plot device used at the end of the wedding was used at the end of issue #3, and 3 issues in we’d already had a Mia “I HAVE AIDS!!!!!” tirade.

Nevertheless, I decided to go ahead and catch up, reading four issues in a row, ending with last week’s issue #7. I’ll be honest, #4 to a lesser extent, but I somewhat enjoyed 4-6. The broody Ollie is not as fun as the carefree Ollie, of course, but the characters still mostly acted like themselves, and some of the bits were pretty heartwarming. The do-over wedding in particular was nice; my wife and I had a small, intimate wedding, and we’ve also dressed as GA and BC for a Halloween. I digress. After feeling somewhat ok about this book all of a sudden, I then opened up #7.

It started off ok, with a decent little chase/action scene. A comedic beat followed, featuring Hal Jordan. Then, Team Arrow used the threat of sodomy by overweight shirtless clown, old lady in bikini and bunny ears, and a sheep as interrogation tools. Go ahead, re-read that sentence. I couldn’t possibly make this stuff up, folks, that’s what REALLY happens in the book.

Overseas in London, England, Team Arrow meets/tussles with/then decides fighting is silly (where have I seen that before? Oh, every team up. Ever. Forever.) with Gambit. Er…some kind of British Gambit wannabe who throws a mace instead of cards. He even has the two-toned spandex under a trench coat, a tussle to his hair, and a cavalier attitude. He’s a thief that’s made some bad moves, but everyone just can’t help but like him. So, like I said, they meet Gambit. He leads them to the big reveal…

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Entertainment Weekly, a magazine that continues to endear me for how much comic book-related material they cover, has a terrific feature on their website right now, “Comic Books: The One That Hooked Me!”
In it, over a dozen of the top industry talents show what was THE book that brought them where they are today. I like that in many instances the writers and artists acknowledge that they may have picked up something here and there in their youth that was practically throwaway, but here they detail the one that really stuck.

For me?
That’s easy: The New Teen Titans #16

As a kid growing up in the 70s, I was all over ANYTHING to do with superheroes. I’d follow the adventures of the Hulk, Batman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, you name it, on TV. Mom would buy me the occasional comic book of said characters, and artistically I could never have enough superhero coloring books.

But it wasn’t until the family moved cross-country at the end of 1980, and I started figuring out the monthly schedule of comic books at my new neighborhood’s 7-11. The book that locked me in like a tractor beam was this gem by Marv Wolfman & George Perez. The story blew me away as a kid (no happy ending??), but even more so was Perez’s rendering of Robin, someone I only knew as a guy voiced by Casey Kasem (Super Friends), and portayed in the flesh by Burt Ward (Batman). I don’t think think Dick Grayson ever looked so bad-ass in the yellow cape and red & green tights, but it turned out to be a sign of good things to come for the character. Nightwing, anyone? Plus the other characters who were brand new to me (Starfire, Cyborg, Changeling) were instantly easy to connect with.

So what locked YOU in?

Rock the Cradle premiered on MTV last night, and it was interesting. First off, let me say, go Jesse Blaze Snider! Woo!

Anyway, taking a look at the show, it was a good time, and it was interesting seeing a HUGE range of talent. For example, Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton-John, wouldn’t make it to Hollywood on American Idol. Steve Walsh of the Eagles’ daughter  Lucy Walsh was incredible, and really deserved the “protected” spot.

The judging is all over the place, with judges rarely agreeing across the board- that’s perfect. It means they’re actually giving their individual opinions and EVERYone has different opinions. I don’t mind that at all, though I did quickly figure out who I’ll be agreeing with, and that Belinda Carlyle is batshit crazy. Although, she was right on Lil B Sure, as he was not the “best vocal performance of the night” like Larry Rudolph said- he was flat on 2 of his last three notes, but I digress.

Then there’s the host, Ryan Devlin. Wow, was this guy terrible. He has no charisma, he is NOT funny, his delivery was off, his timing was off when coming back to him, and he had his head and neck cocked forward the ENTIRE show- it was painful to watch, and bad enough that I fast forwarded (thank you tivo!) every time he spoke and someone else wasn’t around.

Don’t worry if you missed it, there’s something like 10 showings of the first episode in the next 3 days alone. It’s worth taking a look at, and I have a feeling once the first couple cullings take place and we get rid of the crap, the competition should get interesting.

Quick bits on every competitor after the break: (more…)

I took at look at some of the week’s Hot Searches at both AOL and Alexa. I often wonder exactly where the collective head of the internet is. Answer? Some strange places.

According to AOL, Hot Searches included:

Hot Searches from March 31, 2008:

Kate Bosworth — Got drunk before sex scene in new movie ‘21′
Earth Hour — Worldwide event designed to raise energy awareness
Kids’ Choice Awards — Find out who was slimmed this year
Katie Holmes — May star in a Broadway play
Food Network — Giada De Laurentiis gives birth
Doug Davis — Diamondbacks pitcher diagnosed with thyroid cancer
NASCAR — Find out who won the Goody’s Cool Orange 500
Kim Kardashian — Embarrassing WWE Wrestlemania XXIV Blunder?
NCAA — Who’s on the road to the Final Four?
Jonas Brothers — Concert ticket sales surpassed NCAA tournament

I have to laugh at Kate Bosworth’s ownership of the top spot. It’s an object lesson in how the terms “drunk sex” can power a search. The Kim Kardashian bit is hilarious; the human version of Jessica Rabbit demonstrated that she knew nothing about what she was supposed to do prior to the show. And the Jonas Brothers bit just makes me want to weep.

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I caught this story live Monday morning during WGN’s warmup to the Chicago Cubs’ opening day.

Seriously, when you make Dutchie Caray angry, that’s like making your own grandmother upset. Way to go, AT&T!

To those not in the Chicago area, this was the best I could find, but here’s what Dutchie’s so peeved about…

Ahoy! Shots in the Dark IS the official podcast of Shotgun Reviews, so we thought we’d hit you up with an all review episode (after the Gatling Geek news segment, of course). We went a little outside the box, though. First, Janelle reviews The Sims 2: Freetime, the likely final expansion pack to The Sims 2, and even gives you a sneak peak of The Sims 3, due out next year.  Then we take a deep look at the first 7 “episodes” of Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield’s FreakAngels; the completely free webcomic. Head over, take a listen, subscribe through any and all podcasting services, and be a better human being. Or Warren Ellis will send the arse eels. It’s your choice.

 Listen Right Here!!

Chelsea Clinton again blew a chance to respond to a question that would make her mother seem like a stronger candidate. Once again, she was confronted with a question about her mother’s public handling of the Lewinsky affair, and once again, she muffed it.

There was an opportunity here for the Clinton campaign to be forthcoming. There was an opprotunity here to attack that lingering issue head-on.

Let me make one thing clear: I don’t think that a president’s sex life is our business. I don’t care. I honestly, 100% don’t give a shit. I’m less worried about where the president spends his night than whether or not he’ll put down a children’s book and take care of business.

The original question turned not on how Hillary felt, but on how the situation made her look weak by her lack of response. This is a sensible question. He didn’t ask if Hillary cried, he didn’t ask how long Bill slept on the couch, and he didn’t ask if Monica did something Hillary wouldn’t do. He asked about the public reaction to an issue that the whole country discussed for over a year.

Chelsea could have said, “I think that my mother has proven herself often enough since then.”

She could have said, “My mother left that behind and became a U.S. Senator. I’d say she handled it fine.”

She could have said, “I fail to understand the substance of the question, because my mother is one of the final two Democratic candidates for the highest office in the land.”

Instead, she fell back on “None of your business.” Not once, but twice.

So much for trying to restore honesty and transparency to the White House.

One More Thing: Before I get the usual garbage from both sides, my political take this time around is pretty even: all of our choices kinda suck.

Full Disclaimer: I am a former soldier and an Iraq War veteran.

In watching CNN Headline News this morning, I saw Robin Meade report the new U.S. death toll in Iraq: 4000. In addition, at least 80,000 Iraqis have died, and that’s to say nothing of the 4.5 million, MILLION that have either been forced out of their homes or even the country. Now, don’t get me wrong, Saddam Hussein was a ruthless, vicious, waste of humanity. He genuinely needed to be taken down (though not like this, but that’s a whole different discussion). When oh when will we step up and acknowledge that this just isn’t going well? The worst stat Robin put out there? Last year, 2007, was the BLOODIEST for the U.S., with the death toll hitting over 900 during that year alone.

But hey, the surge is working…

Recently, Occasional Superheroine’s Valerie D’Orazio got mad as hell and decided she wasn’t going to take it anymore. A recent blog entry talking about stereotypes in comics got a bit heated, especially when one poster asked D’Orazio (whose comments had become increasingly condescending as the thread grew larger), “Are you capable of responding to an argument without a personal insult?”

Cue fireworks in 3… 2… 1:

D’Orazio: You don’t like what I write? Don’t come on here and whine about it like a 13-year-old. Go read another f**king blog. See if they tolerate your negativity. I owe you NO respect when you disrespect this blog. It isn’t a democracy, where you can come in here and bitch and insult me and my intelligence and I’m going to bend over backwards to make sure your rights as a debater are preserved. Got that? And if you don’t like it, please please please take you and your self-righteous whiny comments elsewhere.

Well, since you insist.

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Last week a good friend of mine, who occasionally moonlights as a writer, smugly told me to “get it together, sister” and learn to better edit the things I write. She basically implied, more or less, that if I were ever going to become a successful writer I would need to be free of spelling, typo, and grammatical errors. She then taunted me even more by stating that since I had my BA in English that I should, therefore, be a perfect self-editor and that any good writer – one who’s taken seriously and who makes an actual living as a writer - would be able to catch all their mistakes. So in essence she told me my frequently typo-ridden writing, regardless of form or content, was lacking and, basically, just so much crap under her superior shoe (or at least that’s how I took it in a moment of extreme sensitivity).

My first initial insane-o reaction was to pull all her hair out, tell her to F**K Off, and then leap out of the moving car and find comfort in a pint of ice cream. Instead I maturely (and boringly) told her that just because I majored in English it didn’t mean I knew everything there was to know about the degree and that editing my own mistakes has always been my biggest weakness (we have since smoothed things over and I can now appreciate her effort, if not her execution, in trying to help me be a better writer). Go figure! I accept it (despite the fact that I struggle each and every time I write something to make sure it is mistake free, but re-reading and re-re-reading and re-re-re-reading rarely leaves my writing error-free) and I have learned to embrace my shortcoming – even though I curse myself after something has been posted or printed with a glaring typo in it.

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It seems noted temperamental “star” Edward Norton (when was he last seen in a popular movie or, I dunno, just a movie in general?) is not-so-quietly battling with Marvel over the upcoming final cut of The Incredible Hulk movie. I say “not-so-quietly” only because someone must have leaked this beef between Norton and Marvel, unless of course it’s just some marketing ploy to get the movie on the pop culture radar, which really wouldn’t surprise me in today’s controversy loving media. I tend to believe in the veracity of this rumor over marketing ploy, or mere smear-campaign, simply because I live on the web and eat up all and every aspect of pop culture goodness and I find when a story like this makes it onto more than one news/gossip site, well, there’s some truth in “them thar’ hills.”

Apparently Norton wanting a bigger say in the final cut of the film and Marvel is not exactly agreeing with Norton’s input, (or vice a versa depending on your source) and both sides are “working” to come to an understanding. With the June 13^th premier date looming over the horizon Marvel really needs to nail down a final cut, with or without Norton’s stamp of approval. If Marvel does go forth with their vision for the film, which kinda makes sense seeing as how this is their property, their character, and when the chips are down and everything is totaled up, if the movie does badly it will be Marvel that will suffer for it. It’s Marvel that stands to be the most effected if the movie tanks: they stand to loose in theatrical revenue, toy line sales, future sequels profits and further Hulk opportunities (cartoon anyone), whereas Norton will most likely remain unscathed by the movie crashing and burning and will just happily move along to his next project (like Eric Bana did in the first Hulk movie!).

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