Somewhere out there, Demi Moore is taking a meeting with Les Moonves…

It’s very telling when you look at the list of actresses who today got Emmy nominations for their work in drama series:

Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters, ABC

Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer, TNT

Glenn Close, Damages, FX

Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC

Holly Hunter, Saving Grace, TNT

With Sedgwick as the youngest of the five talented actresses at age 42, the median age of the quintet of nominees is 52 years old.  With acclaimed, award-winning actresses like Jessica Alba, Megan Fox, and Anne Hathaway grabbing all the plum big-budget studio film roles, is it any wonder that TV is where older good actresses continue to turn to solid, reliable work?  Never mind the fact that TV drama’s overall quality is as good if not better than the best Hollywood can muster in their motion pictures.

To be fair, though, I really think Anne Hathaway is plenty talented, her age simply attracts the suits more at Warner Bros.,  Universal & Paramount.

Yesterday, my coworker brought in a bag of Nacho Cheese Bugles.  I had quite the late ’80’s/early ’90’s flashback, accompanied by the thought “Can these really be as good as I remember?”  Well, ladies and gentlemen, I assure you - Bugles really are as good as you remember.  While my childhood delight with them mostly focused on putting them on my fingers and pretending I was a witch, this time around they disappeared too quickly for any such play.  The Nacho Cheese flavor is delicious and not as in your face as Doritos.  And who knew that Bugles have actually been around for 5 decades, according to the General Mills site?  They also have a Chinese “Fun Club” although that site appears to be down - I say appears because I do not read Chinese.

The bottom line, folks, is that you really should try Bugles again.  Sure, their time of popularity was about two decades ago, but that doesn’t mean they’re not still delicious.  I highly recommend them.

Who’s the bigger dumbass: UFC star Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, who was arrested for felony hit and run while driving a vehicle that had a picture of his face painted on the side, or washed-up comedian/walking disaster Andy Dick, who was busted at a Sam’s Club after groping a teenage girl and peeing on the sidewalk at a Buffalo Wild Wings. Discuss.

Three years ago, Christopher Nolan and Co. released Batman Begins. A movie that gave rebirth to the Batman franchise after being destroyed by Joel Schumacher and his “comic” feeling. I don’t mean as in comic book, I mean…well, you’ve seen Batman and Robin, right? Yeah. Nolan did away with that. With proper casting and a darker feel and environment. He gave not only life to the Caped Crusader…but even Gotham City felt like a character in its own right. With sets like the Narrows and Wayne Tower and a monorail so you can see how far it goes, and how you felt that the city was crumbling under it’s own corruption. Nolan made sure that Batman didn’t always fight “colorful” villains, he can take down mob bosses and immortals alike. And at the end of film…with the conversation with Gordon about a certain someone with a “taste for the theatrical”. Just a hint of things to come. Simply put: one of the best movies of the decade.

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Who remembers “Puttin’ on the Hits”? Yes, an entire show devoted to lip-synching in costume! And it ran for four years.

Admittedly, some people put clever twists on their peformances, like this one:

What I find interesting in an anthropological sense is how certain types of shows fade, never to return. With the success of American Idol, Nashville Star, or hell, even the late Say What Karaoke, I don’t think that a lip-synching show can come back. The irony is that with so many big-name performers actually lip-synching during their “live” shows, they’ve become just as pretend, after a fashion.

DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

“I fucking hate writing speeches. I would rather suck green syphalitic donkey dicks! (filled with puss).” Mayor Mitchell Hundred, Ex Machina #36, speech draft complete with illustrations.

I’m trying to get back on the horse here, and I think I’ve never been so behind! But anyway, like Master Yoda said, there is no try… Last column was 20 days ago, and nobody got the Dissect This!, and I fear my lack of posting is making me loose readers, so I hope I can prevent that. The DT! was that the relative sizes of Darth Krayt and the stormtroopers around him were all screwed up, making him look twice the size of the stormies.
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Nothing like new music! (especially when its on the freebee variety)

Dutchmassive - Domination Recordings - The DrumLove EP (25 minutes of pure instrumental boom-bap!) Download here: DrumLove

Common Market - New album titled Tobacco Road, set to hit stores September 9th! (What! An agricultural themed album in 2008!?! If Lil Wayne can rap about himself being like a loli-pop, then RA Scion and Sabzi can drop an allegorical album about love, life and art from a “harvesting” perspective). Song samples:

Winter Takes All  - Tobacco Road - Gol’Dust

Dj Mafioso - “3 MCs, 1 DJ” featuring Binkis Recs - Off the Dj Mafioso mixtape/album La Bodega. (ATL flava with the quick-to-slap you over-the-head lyrics of Binkis Recs)

NORE - “Still On The Run Eating” featuring Lil Wayne - (If it wasn’t for the Reggaton explosion a couple years back, NORE would be in serious ‘milk-carton’ emcee missing-in-action status!)

AZ - “The Secret” - featuring Raekwon & C.R - (This might be the first time AZ and Rae have collabed? Pray to the hip-hop gawds that it ain’t the last!!)

NY Oil - “Soldier” - featuring Chuck D - (Gotta be NY Oil’s dream to collab on a track with the godfather of social-political rap!)

More later..

Welcome to my first in a series of indefinite music review blurbs! Back from the depths of Shoe’s Music Reviews, this should prove to be more digestible, and simpler for someone who takes forever to write a full page of text…

We Are Scientists – Brain Thrust Mastery
The second full-length release from this Cali duo is a seismic jump forward from their previous post-punk leanings. BTM introduces us to a fresh indierock pop sensibility, from the glossily dirty harmonies in crunchy opener “Ghouls” to brilliantly perfect “Let’s See It”, sing-able first single “After Hours” and OMD-like throwback “Lethal Enforcer”. Lots to love and, even more so, fun to explore.
A-
www.wearescientists.com

Tokyo Police Club - Elephant Shell
These Canadianese bring the offbeat energy with a debut album effort ups the ante from their promosing 2006 EP A Lesson in Crime, albeit only as much as a 30-minute album can be better than a 15:00-minute EP. So, let’s go with “twice as good”. Especially brilliant: “In a Cave” and chart runner “Tessellate”. These guys are like a young, substance-addicted Weezer living in the Toronto suberbs. And that doesn’t even begin to describe them.
B+
tokyopoliceclub.com

Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords
You probably already know whether or not you’d like this record. If you’ve discovered the understated hilarity of these musical Kiwis from their first season on HBO, this is for you. Much like the show, it’s somewhat of a slow grower, with more and more subtle jokes uncovered upon each visit to their surreal world. Your mileage may vary, but I’d run a marathon with Bret and Jemaine (and Mel for that matter).
B+
www.hbo.com/conchords/

Until next time: Listen without fear!

By now, you’ve heard about this . . .

The first and most important point to make about this cover is that both the Obama and McCain campaigns reacted swiftly, calling it “tasteless and offensive” among other things.

But as for the message of the picture? The cover goes with a story on the inside of the magazine called “The Politics of Fear”. If that line would have run on the cover, then the message of the satirical art would be rather clear. As it is, a random person passing a newsstand might not get the joke, and therein lies the problem.

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10 Favorite Tool Names
by Li Rapkin

1. Knockout Punches

2. Flexible Rules

3. Gender Adapter Kits

4. Pop-Up Rods

5. Friction Rings

6. Penetrating Lubricant

7. Bare Butt Splices

8. Strip Joints

9. Bender & Hickey Handles

10. Shaft Protector Sets

How many dirty pictures of this little whore can there be?

Okay, I’m kidding. Mostly. (Please, Mouse, don’t sue me. Joke. Satire. Mostly.)

Honestly though, this is just the warning shot. Remember when the first “maybe she’s not a virgin” rumbles began to swirl around Britney? As fast as The Mouse is trying to generate their own next wave of teen pop (Miley, The Jonas Brothers, The High School Musical kids, etc.), the kids are just as quickly making dumb decisions to hasten its end. Vanessa Hudgens has already had her photo scandal, Miley’s on like her fourth . . . how long until the first Jonas paternity suit?

It’s fairly obvious that Cyrus’s fame has made her a target. Allegations of phone hacking, etc. indicate that there is now cache among less-savory media types when it comes to scoring images of this girl. She could help her own case by, let’s see, NOT storing racy photos of herself in an unsecure location. Her handlers should also make sure that her personal electronic devices have better security. If the photos are in the world because she was dumb enough to send them to someone, well, I guess she’s the one who has to explain it to Walt’s Frozen Corpse.

As it is, I’m sure it won’t ding her popularity much. It might even motivate some young men to pick up her material. If she does view herself as a role model in any fashion, then she should probably find a way to curtail her exhibitionist impulses. And stay away from her back-up dancers.

es your eyes have not deceived you, they have indeed announced a 3rd season of Black Lagoon and might I just say……holy fucken crap it is about time that they announced this. There is so much untapped potential left in the Black Lagoon manga. Potential that they can use for this 3rd season of Black Lagoon, here is hoping we see more of Lotton The Wizard and Sawyer the Cleaner. Not to mention the whole Roanapur gang for that matter. You may ask were I procured this bit of information, well moonphase to be exact and they have yet to fail me in there accuracy of the news that they report.

Or maybe not:

Suspended Indefinitely means exactly that, so it seems ADV is now in dire trouble. But it’s been rather difficult to get some concrete evidence of the facts from ADV or any reliable sources. Several retailers have reported that ADV Films has suspended indefinitely the shipments of the following anime titles:

• Shattered Angels

• Kanon

• Tokyo Majin

• Welcome to the NHK

The 4 titles mentioned above has also mysteriously vanished from the ADV website. At the ADV Sneak Peak panel at Anime Expo on Thursday afternoon, A.D. Visions co-founder Matt Greenfield acknowledged that his company had separated from its former business partner, Sojitz. What does his mean for us average anime fans out there. It means that ADV films have lost close to 90% of the newly licensed titles.

He indicated that, as a result, the status of recent titles are now “fate undetermined.” However, he did say that the company is negotiating for 23 more titles. Seriously don’t these people know any good business practices, rather then trying to acquire new titles why not consolidate what you have and try and save the sinking ship. Currently they have more money going out then coming in, and adding 23 new titles isn’t going to help…

Comic Book Resources has an exclusive look at the first color artwork from Terry Dodson’s run on Uncanny X-Men. As you would expect, it’s filled with, shall we say, “huge tracts of land”. Beyond that, it’s pretty good stuff.

There’s also a pic of a Michael Turner cover for issue #500:

Let’s see… I count 15 X-Men, and zero feet. No background, either. Yep, that’s definitely a Michael Turner drawing. (Actually, I really do kind of like it. It’s definitely one of the cooler covers Turner drew.)

And for the love of God, would somebody please redesign Dazzler’s costume (as seen in the Dodson drawing of the X-Women)? She’s been wearing that blue monstrosity for over 20 years.