The Dissector #78.
DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)
[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]
“My giant-sized teammate is fighting a mechanized version herself on the streets of downtown Tokyo… I’ve been preparing for this day my entire life!” Andrew Wells, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season Eight #15.
Yet another column? My, I’m really serious about this catching-up business, ain’t I? Here I am with the column for comics published on the week of 06/04. Last column’s DT! was solved by Lt. Cmdr. Snakebyte, who correctly spotted that Fever was referring to “Vundabar”, but the speech balloon said “Vandabarr”, Badge for you, and you’re three badges away from being full Commander.
Dissector’s Picks Of The Week! Best Book Of The Week was Amazing Spider-Man V1 #561; again, the art is not my favorite, but it had a good hero-villain fight, and the MJ/Spidey team-up was golden. Worst Book Of The Week was Supergirl V5 #30, not only the art is full of inconsistencies, but I can’t take any more “boohoo, I’m an alien, cousin Kal doesn’t understand me” stories about Supergirl.
On another note, I just came from seeing The Dark Knight. Good movie? Yes. Great movie? No, not by a long shot. It’s fun, and it has a great Joker portrayal (except for that thing with his mouth he does all the time, like a senior citizen playing with his denture); the Joker is not only great because of Ledger’s acting, but because how well the script portrays the kind of madness and anarchy the character causes, how he uses people as mere pawns in his chaos-spreading schemes. Then there’s the excellent fight scenes, and superb references to comics like its namesake and The Killing Joke. However, not only it’s overly long (the Hong Kong scene is fun, but unnecessary), and most important at all (to me): it falls short in “wowing” me.
There’s also the little things that bug me, most of them stemming from Nolan’s over eagerness to be realistic; this is a superhero film, so you can keep verisimilitude while still going a bit over the top. For example, even if I can stand a make-up wearing Joker (and just barely), a burn victim Two-Face that looks like an undead, it just breaks my suspension of disbelief… I mean, he’s disfigured, but it’s too lifelike to feel like it belongs in Batman. I’ll give the movie a 3 out of 5 (or possibly 3.5), I liked Batman Begins a lot more. Also, what the hell is up with Batman riding a motorbike with his cape flying behind him and touching the wheel? DANGER!!! Anyhoo, on with the dissections.
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“I WON’T BUDGE.”
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: Until they show, in story, or tell, in continuity, how Beast mutated again, I will keep on considering drawing him with ape feet WRONG.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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“HEART TO HEART.”
TITLE: Astonishing X-Men Sketchbook Special (Marvel).
ISSUE: One-shot.
CULPRIT: Simone Bianchi (penciller).
DISSECTION: A sketch of Cyclops new costume shows an X emblem over the right side of his chest, and a notation that the “X on his heart…” Uhm, Simone, the human heart is to the left of your chest.
DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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“DISSECTION FROM THE FUTURE.”
TITLE: Cable V2 (Marvel).
ISSUE: 04.
CULPRIT: Duane Swierczynski (writer).
DISSECTION: Come on, this one is easy.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“HAIR RIDDLES.”
TITLE: Detective Comics (DC).
ISSUE: 845.
CULPRIT: John Kalisz (colorist).
DISSECTION: The Riddler’s hair is colored brown, when it should be black… and even then, he’s usually depicted as balding, lately, and not with a lush head of hair like here.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“SEVEN OF NINE.”
TITLE: The Dissector (Studio Robota).
ISSUE: 72.
CULPRIT: MaGnUs (writer).
DISSECTION: In that column, I dubbed issue 02 of 05 of Star Trek: New Frontier as 04 of 04.
DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, double, of course. In column #68 I also dubbed issue 01 of 05 as just “01″, which goes against my own numbering conventions, even if it’s technically correct.
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“LIGHTNING ALWAYS FALLS IN THE SAME PLACE.”
TITLE: Justice Society Of America V3 (DC).
ISSUE: 16.
CULPRIT: Dale Eaglesham (penciller).
DISSECTION: Will Eaglesham ever learn that Jay Garrick changed his chest emblem decades ago?
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, his boots are wrong.
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“PINK IS MY NEW OBSESSION, PINK IS LIKE RED BUT NOT QUITE…”
TITLE: Star Trek: New Frontier (IDW).
ISSUE: 03 of 05.
CULPRIT: Leonard O’Grady & John Hunt (colorists).
DISSECTION: Once more Kallinda Cwan’s skin is pink, instead of red, as Thallonian skin is.
DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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“KRYPTONIAN STRANGERS.”
TITLE: Supergirl V5 (DC).
ISSUE: 30.
CULPRIT: Ron Randall (artist).
DISSECTION: Randall completely redesigns the way Supergirl’s parents look like; just because, apparently.
DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars. Also, for some reason, colorist Shannon Blanchard makes baby Kal-El’s hair blonde.
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“IT’S AN OFFICER, HE’S BETTER FED.”
TITLE: The War That Time Forgot (DC).
ISSUE: 02 of 12.
CULPRIT: Al Barrionuevo (penciller).
DISSECTION: A captured soldier is referred to one of his captors as an officer because of his “decorations”, when there’s none in his uniform.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“NO, NOT ALL SCOTS HAVE RED HAIR.”
TITLE: Young X-Men (Marvel).
ISSUE: 03.
CULPRIT: Rob Schwager (colorist).
DISSECTION: Moira MacTaggert’s hair is red, actually orange, when her hair is brown. At least writer Marc Guggenheim remembered Nightcrawler has medical knowledge.
DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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This column had thirteen dissections, and an average of 6.8 Bazzars… and that’s really all I have to say about it. To finish, we have the Moments Of The Week, which have been few in number lately, mostly because I’m doing outdated columns, and what wowed me two months ago, doesn’t necessarily have the same punch now. First up this week is Nick Fury and his new Howling Commandos!
Did he have to use a Liefeld gun? Next, one of the best 1-2 katana slicings I’ve seen in a long time:
Now THAT is Kick Ass. And last, torture in Starfleet?
Oh, no, not torture! I just love Zak Kebron, his my favorite New Frontier character. That’s it for now, until next week, I’ll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes…
THE DISSECTOR!
