TNA Sacrifice PPV Review - 5/11/08 - Orlando, FL
Results from Gerweck.net
TNA had a show last night? Yawwwwwwwwwwwwn… Really? I guess I hadn’t been paying attention to them since the last turkey they dropped.
They opened the show with Jeremy Boring hassling Kurt Angle about the neck injury he suffered overseas last weekend in South Korea. Angle said that his doctor told him not to compete. Be careful, Kurt… that’s what got Torrie Wilson fired. Angle also dropped a bunch of WWE trademarks into his lingo.
Meanwhile, one of TNA’s random broads hassled Scott Steiner about Angle’s injury when he arrived, and Steiner was happy. Kevin Nash also got out of his limo. Then, Jeremy Boring hassles Samoa Joe as he got out of his limo (no wonder TNA has astronomical travel expenses), and he was bummed out about Angle’s injury, but when he found out about Nash riding with Steiner, he got angry… why? Because Nash pays up to stock the wet bar in the limo.
Team 3D defeated Sting & James Storm (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal): I guess I must have missed why Storm and Sting are teaming up. Isn’t it against the Stinger’s beliefs to posse up with a drunk? Anyway, I guess that’s the format according to the talking bobbleheads. After Storm yelled at Sting pre-match to stay out of his way, I’m guessing a pretty definite win for 3D. Later in the match, Sting was in the ring and was distracted by Storm yelling instructions to him, allowing 3D to start double-teaming Sting. Storm started downing some cold ones while Sting was getting beaten. 3D set up a table, but Sting took them both out, grabbed Storm, and threw him off the top rope through the table. Devon with the pinfall on Storm for the win. Yeah, that team was definitely not going to work. Average match.
Christian Cage & Rhino defeated Booker T & Robert Roode (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal): Here’s another match where you could probably predict the outcome before it starts. Nice to see that the Booker/Roode feud is now clocking in at about 7 months now. That’s not boring at all, and hey, even better, they were fighting each other before the bell. What’s the point of these matches again? Better action than the first one, at least. Roode made a blind tag to Booker, yelled at him, and got him clotheslined out of the ring by Rhino. Gore by Rhino on Roode for the win, so after the match, Booker congratulated them both. Then, he got of the ring, grabbed a chair, and leveled them both. The refs hit the ring and the crowd turned on Booker. Strange.
Backstage, Scott Steiner begged Kevin Nash to help him in the main event. Nash claimed that Joe was his meal ticket, but he’d think about it. If Joe is Nash’s meal ticket, does that mean that Scott Hall is Nash’s bar tab?
LAX defeated Kip James & Matt Morgan (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal): Sheesh… why not telegraph all these finishes? They’re 0-3 so far on the “wildcard” pairings, although James & Morgan might not be a bad team. I just don’t understand the point of making us suffer through these obvious matches that are nearly excruciating to watch (even when you mute the rantings of Don West). Miscommunication between Morgan and James, and a big boot accidentally took out James, allowing Hernandez to get the win.
AJ Styles & Super Eric defeated BG James & TNA Women’s Champion Awesome Kong (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Quarterfinal): Before and during the match, they played up the fact that AJ Styles doesn’t know how to wrestle a woman. Well, maybe they should have dragged out Jeff Jarrett then. Kong gave Styles a testicular claw for his troubles. I bet Karen Angle isn’t that mean. Anyway, Eric got in there and had no trouble beating up a woman, which I thought was against Spike TV’s policy, but whatever. Styles botched the finish off the top rope, but rolled James into a small package for the win. Four matches in, and there’s very little to write home about yet.
Kaz won the TerrorDome Match (#1 X-Division Contender Match): Before the match, Jim Cornette appeared and offered the winner Kurt Angle’s spot in the main event against Samoa Joe and Scott Steiner. In other words, TNA is telling you they don’t think Scott Steiner can work. The winner is the first to escape Thunderdome, or whatever the hell it’s called. Isn’t this like the 16th or 17th type of cage match they put on? Anyway, everybody started by trying to climb up the cage. Referee Rudy Charles should get some hazard pay for having to man the rooftop. Early in the match, Johnny Devine hit a Tower of Doom spot and brought down Kaz, Jimmy Rave, and Consequences Creed. You know, guys hit that spot so often now that it ceases to be anything more than mind-numbing. The only time that impresses me anymore is if I see it live. Guys started playing Musical Finishers, allowing Devine and Kaz to start climbing the dome. Kaz pulled Devine off, knocking out some of the other competitors, and Kaz escaped. I found that one to be rather underwhelming… too many guys, and not enough for them to do, it seemed.
Team 3D defeated Christian Cage & Rhino (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Semifinal): Here we go again… so far, the only “sacrifice” I see in this PPV is my sanity. Decent match, I guess, but the tedious gimmick of this tournament already makes Battlebowl look like Wrestlemania. Cage bumped like crazy to get 3D over. Johnny Devine showed up at ringside with a kendo stick, which he handed to Brother Ray. Rhino with a Gore on Devon, but Devine distracted the referee. Brother Ray hit Rhino with the kendo stick, allowing Brother Devon to get the win.
LAX defeated AJ Styles & Super Eric (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Semifinal): When 3D won, you could almost predict the finish. Get ready for another summer full of flag matches. Anyway, Styles got a chance to repeat the spot he botched in the earlier match, which elicited some cheers. This match is better than some of the previous ones, but they’re not really working the hot tag formula at all in these matches. Lots of interference at the end on the LAX side, with Styles rolling up Homicide in a small package, Salinas distracting the referee, and Hector Guerrero jumping in the ring to roll Styles’ shoulders to the mat for the win.
Hey, kids… Billy Corgan is a wrestling fan! He also looks like an old Dustin Rhodes gimmick (without all the fun flying, of course).
Gail Kim defeated Roxxi Laveaux in the final of the TNA Knockout Makeover #1 Contender Battle Royal. The last two in the match have a ladder match, at which the loser gets her head shaved. Gail Kim is immune because she makes more money than the rest of these chicks. Um, maybe this is me interjecting too much logic into a wrestling proceeding, but wouldn’t you want to lose the match before getting to the ladder match part? Anyway, Salinas was smart and got thrown out first. After that, Traci Brooks and Velvet Sky were eliminated simultaneously. Christy Hemme was then gone. Jacqueline, Rhaka Khan, ODB, and Angelina Love all went out simultaneously. I guess they’ve got to keep a schedule. Love was forced to sit in the barber’s chair in case Roxxi won because of Gail Kim’s immunity. Yeah, I somehow doubt that’s going to take place. Angelina and Velvet Sky interfered throughout on Gail Kim’s behalf, a nice touch so Angie wouldn’t get her head shaved.
A pretty decent ladder match followed, which I know will upset Eks. This actually might be considered in the top 2 or 3 matches of the night so far. After Gail won, she tried to go after Angelina to put her in the barber’s chair, but Angie and Velvet double-teamed her. Roxxi was forced to sit in the chair by the referee as they shaved her bald. Traci Brooks stood by for moral support. The fans got into it with chants of “Fire Russo” and “Thank You Roxxi”. Hey, if Vince Russo was responsible for that, I’d like to see more. That was about the first halfway-entertaining thing all night.
LAX defeated Team 3D to become the new TNA World Tag Team Champions (Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament Final): So, what was the point of all the “wildcards” if none of them ended up in the finals? 3D started off by getting in Old Man Hector’s face, so LAX jumped them both. The numbers favor LAX, as we saw from their last match, but Team 3D has the chair and knows how to swing it. About time somebody went all out… I guess this is why all the undercard matches were so absolutely LAME. Devine set up a table at ringside, but got blocked by Old Man Hector. Hector off the top rope and outside the ring with a double stomp through the table! LAX took out Brother Ray, allowing a Border Toss on Devon followed by a frog splash by Homicide for the win.
TNA World Heavyweight Champion Samoa Joe retained over Scott Steiner and Kaz in a Triple Threat Match. Kaz jumped Steiner at the outset and tried to get a couple of quick pinfalls. Joe is a no-selling fool. Everyone ended up outside fairly quickly, and Steiner hit Joe with a suplex on the ramp. Back in the ring, Steiner beat on Kaz while continuing to keep Joe out of the ring. Good strategy there… Nash must have given him that advice. Steiner ended up doubling up on both guys, then sat on Joe with the Steiner Recliner. Joe picked Steiner up on his shoulders, and Kaz hit a missile dropkick on Steiner. Not bad. Kaz now hitting offense until Joe had enough and threw him over with a German suplex. Steiner rolled outside and grabbed the lead pipe from the conservatory. Joe tried a suicide dive, but Steiner clobbered him in the head with the pipe.
Kaz over the top rope got Steiner instead, so he threw him in the ring and worked him over. Back up to the top rope, but Petey Williams crotched Kaz on the top rope. Frankensteiner by Scotty with the pinfall broken up by Joe. It’s amazing that a guy so old and ‘roided and immobile in the ring can still hit that move. Anyway, Joe went all Hulkster on Scotty, and Kaz tried to capitalize, but could not. Steiner removed Kaz, but then JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU with the Muscle Buster for the win. I guess Rick Steiner and Kevin Nash weren’t getting involved. Rather ho-hum for the most part, but there were some decent spots in the match.
Trust me, you could find much better things to watch on PPV than this boring crap. Even Busty Amateur Backyard Babes #9.
May 13th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
You really would have had to be bonkers to have bought this beforehand. The card looked terrible and the PPV was not much better. There was absolutely no reason for yet another new gimmick match and TNA just plain ignores policies when it suits them.
As much as Angle is a control freak, his absence was huge. At least they got one call right in giving LAX the tag belts instead of some of the oddball teams.