Results from Gerweck.net:

I don’t know about you, but I thought all of the news coming out of Orlando last week leading up to Wrestlemania last night was pretty dull.

And then, as if to appease my disappointment, there was Robbie-Gate.

If you didn’t watch TNA Impact last Thursday night, then you probably don’t know what I’m talking about. WWE wrestler Robbie McAllister was in attendance at last Thursday’s live TNA Impact show. It’s been reported that he was there just to visit his friend Johnny Devine, but oops! That’s in violation of an edict sent down earlier in the week from WWE management to stay away from situations where they could be seen with TNA wrestlers.

Obviously, there is a point to such a decision. There were literally thousands of wrestling fans in town for the festivities last week, and many of them probably went to Universal Studios where TNA tapes their shows. Stupidly, WWE asked for some of this by staging events there as well, but hey, I guess you go where the people are instead of expecting them to come to you. I doubt they would get a welcome reception at Downtown Disney. By the way, WWE, there were still TNA guys getting into your events and past your security. Just so you know… hopefully, these guys will not include last weekend in their work experience on their job applications with the TSA. By the way, AJ Styles, Earl Hebner, and other TNA wrestlers got into this event and told fans to watch TNA Impact.

The best part now is that some of the TNA wrestlers are mad at their own TV production people for putting Robbie on camera and outing him in the first place as a cheap publicity stunt. Apparently these guys were never around for TNA’s other cheap publicity stunts with those guys that got kicked off of Survivor, Pacman Jones as tag team champion, offering Bob Knight a job, etc. So, obviously they would be shocked SHOCKED I SAY that TNA would engage in YET ANOTHER cheap publicity stunt like that. Here’s what I have to say about it: if Robbie wanted to watch Impact so badly, do it in your hotel room, but telling a wrestler to stay in his hotel room when everybody else is out partying is like telling a Catholic priest to keep his hands off the altar boys.

You know what? I’m going to use the same argument that I use on my father-in-law every time he complains about not getting to see his grandkids often enough. The roads go in both directions, so do the cars and the airplanes. If Robbie wanted to hang out with his buddy Johnny Devine so badly, then he should have done it some other time in the week that wasn’t a TV night or let Johnny come to him. Don’t do it the week that every jackoff mark is going to be watching your every move and ready to snap every misstep with his jackoff camera phone. Don’t go to the other company’s turf and expect that no one will know you are there. It’s just utter stupidity on his part, and he got what he deserved.

By the way, as far as this “edict” from management goes, it apparently didn’t apply to Jeff Jarrett and Johnny Ace, Edge and Christian Cage, MVP, Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin, and the Undertaker (who was seen with Booker T). But, hey, I guess only Vince McMahon ordered the wrestlers to do stay away from TNA… it’s not like it was LINDA or anything. She’s the REAL boss.

During the pre-show match, Kane won the 24-Man Battle Royal to win the chance to challenge ECW Champion Chavo Guerrero.

JBL defeated Finlay in the Belfast Brawl. A very average WWE hardcore match and not a very good match to open the show. Very little involvement from Hornswoggle as well. I guess the outcome was okay if they plan on continuing the feud, but there wasn’t a lot from these two that I’d like to see again. Just two old guys beating each other up incoherently.

CM Punk won the Money in the Bank Match. This is the requisite car wreck match of the show, and this one didn’t disappoint. John Morrisson made a name for himself by hitting a moonsault outside of the ring WHILE HOLDING A LADDER. Also, Shelton Benjamin proved his balance around the ladders by jumping off a falling ladder onto a different ladder to save himself. I’ve never seen such a non-spot look so awesome. Late in the match, everyone but MVP got eliminated, so he started going up the ladder, but MATT FREAKING HARDY ran in without his appendix and staph infections and hit the U.S. Champion with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Well, that was pretty huge. Jericho and Punk climbed up for the finish, with Jericho trying to hit Punk in the face with the briefcase, but then falling and allowing CM Punk to grab it for the win. I’m surprised that CM Punk won… he’s not a favorite of management, but good for him anyway.

Smackdown’s Batista defeated Raw’s Umaga. I guess it was good as I expected, which wasn’t very good. It will be interesting to see how Umaga’s character interacts with the Friday night crew, as it has been reported recently that Umaga will switch brands. A spinebuster and a Batista Bomb finished the match.

Kane defeated Chavo Guerrero to become the new ECW Champion. The match was 6 seconds long after a chokeslam to start the match. Thanks for coming. I would have rather watched the battle royal.

Shawn Michaels defeated Ric Flair in a Career-Ending Match. Bittersweet ending, but we all knew it was coming. Phenomenal work by both men. It started out with as one of those classic Flair mat working matches until Michaels jacked it up to 11.5 when he missed a moonsault outside the ring through the announce table. They sell that he possibly had a broken rib… I’d say he could have broken a lot more than that. Flair really took over at that point until Michaels tossed Flair out of the ring again, then finally got the moonsault he was looking for before. HBK tuned up the band, but the Nature Boy tripped him and hooked on the Figure Four. Michaels turned it over, and then Flair got to the ropes.

Flair countered a Sunset Flip and later a bridge… how the heck can a 60-year-old guy keep up??? Duelling finishers again, with Flair hitting nut shots and eye gouges on Michaels. One superkick put the old man down, and Michaels waited for Flair to get up again while crying, “I’m sorry. I love you.” Then Michaels hit the Chin Music a second time for the win. After the match, everybody cried like everything and Flair got the mega-pop of a lifetime. Like I said, how Flair could keep up with Michaels for that long is beyond me. I would love to be in that kind of condition when I’m 60.

WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Melina defeated Maria & Ashley. The lights went out during this match, which probably didn’t hurt anything. Maria hit Phoenix with a bulldog, but Santino Marella got involved and pulled her off. Jerry Lawler got up and went after Marella, but Phoenix got Maria with a fisherman’s suplex for the win. After the match, special guest ring announcer Snoop Dogg clotheslined Santino and gave Maria a kiss. Got to keep that pimp hand strong.

WWE Champion Randy Orton retained his title over Triple H and John Cena in a No DQ Match. Orton tested the stipulation right off the bat by hitting Triple H with the title belt. Typical Triple Threat match where the babyfaces each face off with the heel for a while. Cena tried to pick up both men, but Triple H wasn’t having any. Good action at the end sort of redeems this match… a pinfall on Cena from Triple H after a Pedigree was stopped by Orton. He fell on Cena and got the victory. I see where this is going: Hunter had Cena pinned, but Orton took his sloppy seconds. Other than the finish, there wasn’t much exciting in this match.

Floyd Mayweather defeated the Big Show. Here’s your $20 million Wrestlemania moment. Mayweather started out by jabbing and ducking, and then the handlers got involved. The posse tried pulling Mayweather to safety, but then Big Show took them all out and dragged Floyd back into the ring. He turned unstoppable as one of the guys hit him with a chair, but Mayweather put on a pair of brass knuckles and knocked out Big Show for a 10 count for the win. Hm.

Kim Kardashian announced that Wrestlemania broke the Citrus Bowl attendance record. I think there are also 74,635 living at her house.

In the main event, the Undertaker defeated Edge to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. Pretty good match between the two, and definitely the best match to end the show with that didn’t contain Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. The two men went toe-to-toe on their own for quite a while, but then we know Dusty Rhodes booked the match because a referee got knocked out, and when the Undertaker covered Edge and a referee finally showed up, Edge kicked out. The Edgeheads showed up and chokeslams for all! Edge with a spear, but Undertaker kicked out. Replay that sentence again. Now Undertaker slapped on a triangle choke, and the champ couldn’t get to the ropes so he tapped out. Really good match and explosions at the end of the show send the crowd home happy… well, except for these people.

If spending $50 on a fireworks show is your cup of tea, then Wrestlemania XXIV is for you. While there were some great individual performances, Wrestlemania is truly becoming the Super Bowl of the WWE: the game ends up taking a back seat to all the other stuff going on, and that’s pretty sad. Decent wrestling action, but for the price they want you to pay now, “decent” doesn’t cut it.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 1:09 pm and is filed under Russ Ray's Rasslin' Ring, The Russ, Wrestling. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will be moderated but will appear as soon as humanly possible.