TNA Destination X PPV Review - 03.09.08 - Norfolk, VA
Results from gerweck.net
Last night was a good night to go to bed early and catch up on your daylight savings sleep. The first four matches were decent to very good, but beyond that, it was a great big heaping pile of suck. Any time you involve dead aquatic creatures in a match and beat people with them, you know that something is terribly wrong.
A nice video package opened the show telling us about the sacrifices that TNA wrestlers make in the ring to entertain the fans and achieve their goals. Yeah, I guess that making $1000 an appearance, a hotel room, a rental car, and getting free reign around Universal Studios twice a month doesn’t play into it… they make this sacrifice ONLY to entertain us.
The Latin American XChange defeated the Motor City Machine Guns and the Rock & Rave Infection to become #1 Contenders. This was an excellent opening match, was packed with action, and the outcome could have gone either to the established LAX or the up-and-coming MCMG. I still believe the winner of this match will be your next tag champs. After the match, Fairplay and that other gravy-trainer from Survivor were shown sitting at ringside. Floyd Mayweather and Kim Kardashian, they are not…
TNA X-Division Champion ”Black Machismo” Jay Lethal retained over Petey Williams. Lots of good wrestling and counter-wrestling early in the match… I think it’s kind of strange that the two matches I thought would be the best would be this early. I guess maybe TNA was expecting people to go to bed early trying to get over daylight savings and wanted to give them their money’s worth ahead of time? Anyway, Williams slowed down the match every time Lethal tried to speed it up and did a good job building up that tension. Late in the match, Lethal countered the Canadian Destroyer with his finisher, but then Rhaka Khan jumped on the apron to distract the referee. Here comes OLD BOOTY DADDY out to thrill all his over-50 freaks… Steiner threw Lethal off the top rope, Williams got the cover, but then there’s So Cal Val out there to pull the referee’s leg, and not in a “Did you hear the one about the Acolytes tearing up the bar?” kind of way. Rhaka Khan feels for her and starts the chase, but now Sonjay Dutt is out and it’s TRAINWRECK CITY, POPULATION 6 all of a sudden. The two guys in the ring remembered they were in a match all of a sudden, so Lethal won with a small package to sneak off with the win.
Kaz & Eric Young defeated Black Reign & Rellik. This was a surprisingly decent match, if only because Dustin kept out of the ring most of the time. However, it all turned to crap when Young got the hot tag, ran to the back, and returned dressed as a superhero. Shane Helms, he is not. Young did the Eugene schtick of posing as Super Eric, hit a double DVD, and won the match. Ecch… what a way to ruin the match. I couldn’t stand Eric Young before, and now he gets another lame gimmick? The only thing that would make that halfway interesting is if he did the drunk gimmick and the superhero gimmick simultaneously, just so I could refer to the “You’re a mean drunk, Superman” joke.
TNA Women’s Champion Awesome Kong retained over Gail Kim and ODB. The match is mostly a 2-on-1 handicap on the champion from the babyfaces, but the best part of the match was when ODB pulled out her flask, took a drink, and then offered it to Gail, who took a drink as well! Then, they hit a double dropkick. Kong overpowered at the end with a frog splash on Gail Kim and an Awesome Bomb on ODB for the win. I must say that I am honestly shocked she still has the title, but maybe they’re not worried about developing the women’s division beyond these title matches.
Shark Boy & Curry Man defeated Team 3D in a Fish Market Street Fight. Apparently the stipulation for the match was for Team 3D to get fired only if they didn’t make weight, and if they were able to make weight, they wouldn’t have to weigh-in ever again. Well, they did, and there you go with the result. Also, in keeping with the tradition of the match type, there were actual fish at ringside, and not the Abe Vigoda kind neither. Anyway, if you were looking for the WORST COMEDY EVER, this match could probably give Leonard Part 6 a run for its money. Curry Man went fishing for Bubba with a Ho-Ho as bait (I kid you not), the wrestlers slapped each other with fish, and then started throwing fish into the crowd (who then threw them back, which is a trend you don’t want to end up starting). Johnny Devine tried to hit Curry Man with powder in the face, but he got Bubba instead, who accidentally hit Devon with a 3D while blinded. Shark Boy got the pin… so long, and thanks for all the fish. After the match, Team 3D went after the Survivor gravy-trainers. You’d think that TNA would be smart not to put celebrities at ringside like that.
Robert Roode defeated Booker T in a Stand By Your Man Strap Match. Pretty average strap match, which culminated in Booker accidentally taking out the referee. Traci Brooks took out Payton Banks and stole her handcuffs. She threw them in to Booker, but Roode grabbed them, used them as brass knuckles, and knocked out Booker to get the win. After the match, OUR MISS BROOKS was to get 10 lashes with the strap, so Payton Banks beat her with it, and then some. Traci made a recovery, but Roode ran in and shoved her down by the throat. Sharmell ran in, grabbed the strap, and went after Roode, Banks, and security. Then Jim Cornette showed up and it’s back to TRAINWRECK CITY again. She started beating Cornette with the strap while security was taking her away. Ugh… dreadful from beginning to end.
Rhino defeated James Storm in the Elevation X Match. Man, you’d think that it would be quick and easy for two drunk guys to fall off a scaffold, but the Cowboy defied logic (and union rules) by not drinking before the match because it was possibly career-ending EMO COWBOY IS A SERIOUS COMPETITOR anyway, best part about this match is the promo Rhino cut before the show where he asked the production crew if he did a good job… and TNA wonders why NO ONE treats them seriously. Storm climbed the scaffold with a six-pack, but when Rhino showed up, he climbed back down. Rhino started firing cans down at Storm–THAT will bring him back, and so Rhino went back down. They went at it in the ring with some tables (thought this was supposed to be a scaffold match?) and other plunder. Jackie slapped Rhino, and then climbed Elevation X to get away from him. Rhino pursued with Storm following. Storm raked his eyes, and then hid inside the structure. Man, Vince Russo really does want to kill somebody again, doesn’t he? I guess the bloodlust after Owen wasn’t enough. Anyway, once Rhino could see again, the fans had to tell him where Storm was hiding himself. That kind of thing is so silly it reminded me of an indy match where the referee asks the crowd on each side of the ring if the heel was cheating… yeah, like YOU deserve a pop, zebra. Rhino finally caught on and found Storm, but he spit beer in Rhino’s face. Storm lost his balance, Rhino recovered and kicked him, and Storm fell through the tables in the ring, losing the match. After the match, Storm did the obvious stretcher job. So much activity, and yet so tedious…
In the main event, Samoa Joe, Christian Cage & Kevin Nash defeated TNA World Champion Kurt Angle & TNA World Tag Team Champions AJ Styles & Tomko in a 6-Man Tag Team Match. There’s a stipulation to the match where the match will be a handicap match for 5 minutes until Angle joins the match. I guess something happened on Impact last week and there was a lot of yelling about it. Big deal. THIS WHOLE SHOW is overstipulated. 5 minutes came and went and nobody on the heel team got beat in the meantime. Joe won with a rear naked choke on Tomko. Guess that gimmick didn’t matter.
This was a good show to start with, but it quickly disintegrated after the first hour or so. Up next: Lockdown, an equally overstipulated show.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
You got to love how TNA can’t even keep track of their own stips and change them every 10 mins. So Team 3D still have jobs then, well that sucks. All this nonsense about guys not touching chicks and you have Roode grabbing Brooks by the throat. So they are ripping off WWE yet again with this retarded superhero gimmick. The worst thing is that Dixie Carter et al think they are doing a wonderful job.
I doubt them doing live tapings will make much of a difference either, it will probably make things worse seeing as how they will have to co-ordinate all those 43 odd interviews they do every Impact to pin-point accuracy. I’m almost tempted to buy a ticket to one of their upcoming UK live shows to see how bad TNA really are or if they are just a victim of really, really poor TV booking & creative.
March 11th, 2008 at 1:11 am
The house shows are actually supposed to be pretty good. Most likely because I doubt Vince Russo has anything to do with them. TNA’s biggest problem is the booking, and I don’t think that will ever change. When you think about it, there really isn’t anyone available who would be a better choice. Paul Heyman is done with wrestling, Jim Cornette has already turned the job down, and Dusty Rhodes is booking ECW. Who’s left? Kevin Nash booked WCW for a while, but I’m not sure he’d be better than Russo because he’d just give himself he title. Raven is supposed to be pretty creative, but I can’t imagine anyone would give him the book. God only knows if he’s even sober.
March 11th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Yeah, the live events have always fared very well. It’s what TNA puts on television that is so nonsensical. I forgot about the “no hitting women” policy… good catch there, Guv.
The reason that the booking won’t change is because Dixie Carter has no knowledge of the business outside of WWE except for what the Jarretts have told her what it was like in the “good old days”.
The guy they need to get on board to book: Mick Foley. He understands stories, he lived through the Attitude era, and he’d get unlimited rides at Universal.
March 11th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Man, Foley as a booker could be incredible. Not only does he understand plotting, but “ring psychology”. He could really coach guys on how to draw the drama out of a match.
March 11th, 2008 at 10:12 am
Foley would be a great booker, but I think in his Hardcore Diaries book he mentions that he’s still under contract with the WWE for a while. He had a chance to go to TNA a while back, and was even talking to Jarrett about it. but he seems pretty loyal to Vince, even though their friendship isn’t what it used to be.
March 11th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Man, I just read the spoilers for this week’s episode of Impact. I don’t think you’re going to like them, Russ…