The Little Mermaid, Part Three?!?! Oh, F*%K Me!!
Can Disney cannibalize its classic, revered, and treasured movies anymore? These “new” movies are so stinky and foul that it’s like taking a multicolored dump and making it into a DVD.
Does inspiration and joy even factor in these putrid re-treads? Disney obviously knows that any creative effort is not required to sell parts three, four and eventually part fifteen (Ariel gets a yeast infection!) of these cartoon horrors thanks to the many lazy parents who blindly buy anything with the name Disney slapped on it – all in a vain effort to appease their wailing, spoiled, attention-starved brats.
Can someone, anyone, please poke out my eyeballs with one of Sebastian’s claws before this movie hits the shelves!
February 8th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
We inherited a whole load of old Disney videos from my wife’s aunt, and one of the ones in there was Aladdin and the King of Thieves. I’ve seen The Return of Jafar, which I wasn’t exactly enamored with, and I think that was the video that kicked off all these sequels.
Anyway, I watched King of Thieves with my daughter last week, and I have to say that it was one of the funniest Disney animated films I’ve ever seen, if only for the fanboy factor. It’s full of sight gags on Snow White, Cinderella, Pocahontas, Lion King, Steamboat Willie… and there’s even an ED-209 reference in there too. I think they’re pretty hit and miss (you definitely should rent before buying), but they’re not all bad. I also recommend Cinderella III… it’s actually kind of a dark movie.
February 8th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Ariel’s SSD (Sexual Subaquatic Disease), Ariel’s Issue With Crabs, Flounder’s Fantastic Flailing Fins… And the sequels continue…
February 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Russ,
I agree. Out of the plethora of Disney add-ons, King of Thieves is quite funny, at least the first time. I’m not sure it holds up to multiple viewings though since most of the humor is based on simple sight gags. The problem with all of these sequels is that most of them are trite with forgettable songs and poor animation, not to mention weak story lines. Brian’s right in saying that most of these “putrid re-treads” are simply to sedate overweight children deprived of parental affection and attention. With Hollywood suffering from lack-of-viewer-attendance and movies simply not worth 10+ bob (not to mention the price of popcorn and other obesity courting snacks), Disney (with all it’s power and reconizability) should stand up and set the bar; but then again, why would they need to when parents are so willing to buy anything with the Disney lable, regardless of merit, just to satify the screaming and thrashing of their toddlers.