“Elizabeth: the Golden Age” out on DVD
Though I have yet to see the predecessor of this historical drama (something that I’ve always aspired to do and never got around to, like going to the Indian restaurant in town), Elizabeth #2 ranged from mildly captivating in certain scenes to ¡stunning! in others. The armada scene was lovely to watch; and ANGRY Cate Blanchett is worth the rental fee. (See: “My bitches wear my collars,” below.) It was cast exquisitely, but the pace was a little slow in parts. My need for costumed drama has been satiated for the time.
A brief synopsis of the film, sprinkled with a few thoughts of my own:
- -Look at that crazy hair!
- -Whoever chose the size of the on-screen text and subtitles should be shot.
- -Ivan the Terrible and Native Americans in the same movie!
- -These are potatoes. Put some cheese on ‘em. Maybe some sour cream. You’ll love ‘em.
- -Clive Owen is perhaps the only man who can make a sexual pass within the context of a conversation about potatoes and tobacco. (It’s very…stimulating.)
- -My king is very angry. And my cape is very ugly.
- -This man has brought me a zebra. I still shall not marry him.
- -I am queen of all that I see!
- -Papists? Who said anything about Papists?
- -Don’t ask, don’t tell: England’s policy on Catholicism.
- -Surprise! Torture.
- -Furious female anger!
- -Full Elizabethan underwear: the key to lowering teen pregnancy rates.
- -Oh no! An assassin!
- -Throckmorton is a ridiculous name.
- - “My bitches wear my collars.”
- -There is a man upside down on fire.
- -Shrapnel death!
- -The ferocious winds blew out his candle. Fantastic symbology.
- -Spanish armada: officially spanked.
