DISCLAIMER (angry creators, please read)

[[WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!]]

“Look! Up in the sky! It’s… Actually, I don’t know who that is!” Anonymous bystander, who doesn’t recognize Wonder Girl in her new costume.

No more Nitpicker!!! So, here we are, in the first ever issue of The Dissector, which, nevertheless, is #44. Why? Because I hate unnecessary re-launches and new #1. I like history to show, mileage to be noticed, age to be worn as a badge of distinction. I accepted New Mutants V2, and when I learned to love it, BAM, they rename and renumber it to New X-Men: Academy X, which then gets renamed to just New X-Men. Then we have New Avengers, Flash: The Fastest Man Alive (they made that right again). Batman & The Outsiders, New Excalibur (that fiasco is over too), and I can go on.

Why did I change the name and look of the column? Well, like I said, Phil Farrand and his Nitpicker’s Guild had the name first, and I don’t want to usurp that. The look doesn’t change, but it’s enhanced. I keep my English green dominated color scheme, and add that beautiful logo by my dear friend Nysie, which has hints of Victorian mad science, just the way I like it.

We’re approaching our second anniversary, because I’m not denying this column’s past as the Nitpicker, as well as column #50. The first column was published on November 12, 2005, and on that date this year, I’ll have a special column with my favorite nits… err… dissections! That’ll be column #48, then #49 will be the regular column for that week; and on the following week, we’ll have the 50th column, which will be in addition to that week’s column (#51), and will feature the first EVER Autopsy Awards! Yes, I just came up with that…

Here’s the deal: from my archives, I’ll find out who are the most featured creators in the past two years of column, and award a first place and runner up in each category (writer, artist, colorist, etc). I might give an award for the company with most errors, and the book with most errors. Then I’ll select between three and five dissections in each category, and put them to vote between you, my faithful readers (said in my best Stan Lee voice). And, even though they’re more recent features, I can also have a best quote and best WTF/DAYAMN moment. What do you all think?

That said, I’m going to start now with this week’s column, alright? Last week’s Spot The Nit was nailed by Miss Kitty Fantastico; the Riddler’s hair should indeed be black, not light brown. So, here’s a HDSC badge for ya MKF! From now on, STN will be… no, not STD, I won’t go there. It’ll be called “Dissect This!”, and will have the exact same mechanics as STN. Who’s up for some Dissector Picks Of The Week?

My pick for best book of the week is Runaways V2 #28; because I really feel Whedon is growing into this book. Despite some mischaracterization issues with Molly (which I’ve mentioned before, and mention again later in this column), he seems to get most of the Runaways, particularly Chase and Karolina, who I see as Faith and Willow analogues (yes, I know Nico is the witch here). Plus, even though he can’t technically play with the Pride, he still manages to use the kids’ families to give them some problems.

I also enjoy how he portrays the way mutants (or other superhumans) would organize themselves in the early 1900s. What’s not to love about heroes with names as Engine, Nightstick, Daystick, Black Maria and Adjudicator (even though they’re blatant homages to modern day characters, mostly)? The Engine is my favorite, being a differential engine, punch card spewing, steam-powered robot. That scores high in my book, and you know it.

And the villains? If the presence of the Yorkes (Gert’s parents, but from a point in the Runaways’ past where they’re all still little kids and the Pride is alive) wasn’t enough (they now know their daughter buys it in the future, and they’ll do everything in their time-traveling hands to stop it), we now have the Witchbreaker, who turns out to be a Minoru! And then there’s the Yorkes flunkies, from the strong guy whose name I can’t remember, to Morphine (a mad doctor/chemist),. Kid Twist (an Irish mobster looking pistolero), and my favorite, Forget-Me-Not, a temptress with the power to release pheromones (apparently) that drive men wild, and who seems to live in a permanent state of orgasm.

And the art? Well, it’s not my cup of tea, but it’s flawless. It’s not Michael Ryan’s fault that I don’t like it that much, his pencils are excellent, perfectly suited to this book. It’s Christina Strain’s colors, which makes the book look to manga for my taste… and yes, this has always been the case with Runaways. that doesn’t stop me from thoroughly enjoying the book, and being glad now that it seems that Whedon has finally “clicked” with it.

So what’s the worse book of the week then? Simply put, Fantastic Four #550 is a most disappointing end to an otherwise irrelevant and unoriginal plot that seems stolen from a bad Star Trek episode. Dwayne McDuffie’s script is bland, and Paul Pelletier’s art, while correct, does nothing for me, coupled with the fact that Paul Mounts’ colors are bland and too bright. Let’s get started with this week’s dissections (and the first to be called thus):
[------------------------------------------]
“”ACME BRAND.”

TITLE: Batman Confidential.

ISSUE: 10.

CULPRIT: Michael Green (writer) and/or Denys Cowan (penciller).

DISSECTION: I’m still frothing about this Joker origin story, but never mind. Still, I kind of doubt that a former chemical plant that manufactured legal drugs will have a giant vat labeled “anti-psychotics”.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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“WHO NEEDS MAPS?”"

TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Peter J. Tomasi (writer) and/or Nick J. Napolitano (letterer).

DISSECTION: On page 9, Talia Head is shown as being somewhere of the coast of “Gilbralter”, which should be “Gibraltar”.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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“DYE IS POPULAR IN THE DC UNIVERSE.”

TITLE: Black Adam: The Dark Age.

ISSUE: 03 of 06.

CULPRIT: Nathan Eyring (colorist).

DISSECTION: Hal Jordan’s hair is colored black on page 20, as is Vixen’s, instead of Brown.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it could be odd lighting, so I’ll just count it as one.
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“HE BUILT HIS EMPIRE, DOOR TO DOOR.”

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns & Jeff Katz (writers).

DISSECTION: Pages 6 and 7 state that Lionel Luthor (Lex’s father) was a traveling salesman, when the current origin for Lex (Countdown #34, also available on DC’s website) states that he was a “mogul”. Now, I know this is an alternate reality, a possible timeline change that Rip is telling about, so that’s why this gets a lower rating that it could.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
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“THE BRAVE AND THE BALD.”

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).

DISSECTION: Again, alternate reality and all that, but Lex is shown as completely bald from his teenage years, when his current origin shows that he lost his hair over the course of the years, still having hair into his adulthood.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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“GOD, WHY?”

TITLE: Booster Gold V2.

ISSUE: 03.

CULPRIT: Dan Jurgens (layouts) and/or Norm Rapmund (finishes).

DISSECTION: Same spread, Lionel Luthor Jr.’s grave (that is, Superman in this alternate timeline) reads “LUTHER”.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars, this is on par of web forum posters writing “Luther”, “Emporer”, “Klenons” and “Rouge”. I just considered using this as a Dissect This!, but it was too easy.
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“IT’S MORE KUNG-FUEY THIS WAY.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: Karate kid is, for some reason, barefoot on the cover, when he wears boots as part of his costume.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“ONE GIRL, MULTIPLE COSTUMES.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Ian Churchill (cover penciller).

DISSECTION: Again the cover, Una has a different cape clasp and belt that her costume has had before.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“BLUE, PURPLE, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Thomas Chu (colorist).

DISSECTION: I still haven’t opened the book, and there’s more errors to be found. Una’s costume is YET AGAIN colored blue instead of purple.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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“GREEN, MUTABLE COLOR.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).

DISSECTION: Kyle Rayner’s costume keeps shifting ever so slightly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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“SOME CLONES GROW FASTER THAN OTHERS.”

TITLE: Countdown.

ISSUE: 29.

CULPRIT: Manuel García (penciller).

DISSECTION: Jimmy Olsen runs into the Newsboy Legion, but the character heights are wrong. By this time, the Newsboys should be teenagers (at least physically), some of them maybe into their late twenties. However, the “younger” members (Scrapper and Gabby, if I’m not mistaken, and where’s Flip, by the way?) look like midgets when compared to the “older” members (Big Words and Tommy, if I’m right).

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“HAIR ON!”

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Paul Pelletier (penciller).

DISSECTION: Johnny Storm’s haircut is different than what it should be.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“BLACK OR BLUE?”

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Paul Mounts (colorist).

DISSECTION: I had discarded this one until the Guvnor Paul C also pointed it out, and I took a second look. On the first page of story, Ben and Johnny’s costumes are blue, and afterwards, they’re black, as they’re supposed to be. I’m going to award the Guvnor a HDSC badge here.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars, it just might be a question of lighting.
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“YEAH, I HAVE CONTIGENCY PLANS FOR GALACTUS, BUT AFTER HIM, MY COSMIC KNOWLEDGE IS ZERO.”

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: Black Panther doesn’t know who Eternity is, which is kind of doubtful.

DISSECT-O-METER: 3 Bazzars.
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“YOU DO KNOW SHE’S NOT A REAL GODDESS, RIGHT?”

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: In order to fix reality, Dr. Strange has to operate on Eternity, placing his essence in another being’s essence as a method of life support. He says that only himself (Strange) and Storm have the strength of spirit to survive that. What? Where does this come from? I can see Strange being able to house Eternity’s essence at least for a little while, as cosmically trained as he is, but Storm? What? You don’t think that maybe, uhm… the Silver Surfer (who’s also there) could do it better than Storm? Please.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
[------------------------------------------]
“DIPLOMATIC MATTERS.”

TITLE: Fantastic Four V1.

ISSUE: 550.

CULPRIT: Dwayne McDuffie (writer).

DISSECTION: At the end of the book, Sue Richards mentions that the Wakandan embassy in Washington, D.C. is available for T’Challa and Storm to live in… but again, as we’ve mentioned before, you can’t have two embassies in the same country. An embassy and many consulates in the country’s most important cities, yes, but not more than one embassy in the same country.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars, Sue could be mistaken, and it’s a consulate.
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“KOLCHAK, IS THAT YOU?”

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer) and/or Chris Eliopoulos (letterer, if he lettered the cover).

DISSECTION: Thanks to the Guvnor for pointing this one out (another badge for him); the creatures that “guard time” or something like that, are called “Nightstalkers” on the cover, but “Nightwalkers” inside the book.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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“AUNT MAY IS BEYOND HOPE, WE GET IT.”

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: J. Michael Straczynski (writer).

DISSECTION: Spider-Man searches for options to cure May, and one of the people he visits is the X-Men’s Beast, to no avail. Again, are you telling me that Elixir can’t heal may? He’s restored Wolfsbane powers and brought a teammate back from death after his heart had been ripped out, by making him grow a new heart. And he can’t heal Aunt May? Bullshit.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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“YEAH, I BEEN TOOK CARED OF THAT BIZZATCH!”

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).

DISSECTION: On MJ’s profile, it says that she “took cared” of her cousin.

DISSECT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
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“WHO CARES HOW IT’S SPELLED?”

TITLE: Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Jonathan Couper-Smartt, Mike Fichera & Peter Sanderson (writers for the Mary Jane Profile).

DISSECTION: The aforementioned cousin is called Kristie, then on the next line it’s spelled Kristy. Yet another Guvnor spotted dissection, and yet another badge for the man.

DISSECT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars, it’s the next freaking line.
[------------------------------------------]
“WARDROBE MALFUNCTION.”

TITLE: Gene Simmons’ Dominatrix.

ISSUE: 02.

CULPRIT: Flavio Hoffe and/or Impacto Studios (artists)

DISSECTION: This one was spotted by Miss Kitty Fantastico, and I quote him “In issue #1 Dominique’s outfit took some damage during the opening stage of her fight with lingerie ninja girl - the mask is torn beneath her right eye, and both gloves are looking a bit the worse for wear. At the start of #2 the damage to her mask has moved (albeit to her forehead, which is where she got kicked in #1), and it and the tears on her gloves vanish by page 4. Granted she just acquired superpowers from some pills, but I don’t think costume repair is meant to be one of them. I’d call it a 6 - it doesn’t ruin the issue or anything, but it could have easily been avoided.”

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“TIME AND TIME AGAIN.”

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Judd Winick (writer).

DISSECTION: In what seems to be a retelling of their first encounter, Green Arrow mentions that he’s a big fan of Black Canary’s mother, but in her mini, only a few months ago, he said he thought she was her mother.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“I’M WEARING MY SPARES.”

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).

DISSECTION: Black Canary’s gloves and boots are not drawn correctly.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
[------------------------------------------]
“I’M DRINKING TOO MUCH.”

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Trish Mulvihill (colorist).

DISSECTION: Speedy’s eyes are blue, yet on page eleven they’re mysteriously colored yellow.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“I LIKE THIS OUTFIT BETTER, SO I IMAGINED MYSELF IN IT.”

TITLE: Green Arrow / Black Canary.

ISSUE: 01.

CULPRIT: Cliff Chiang (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 13 Black Canary remembers her wedding night, but the lingerie Chiang drew doesn’t mach what she wore on the Wedding Special.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“MULTIPLE FRONTS.”

TITLE: Green Lantern V4.

ISSUE: 24.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer) and/or Ivan Reis (penciller).

DISSECTION: The Justice League is shown battling Manhunters while Sinestro and his lanterns, along with Tom Welling Prime (I saw this denomination for him somewhere and loved it) are arriving on Earth. Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman are there, but they weren’t in the Cyborg Superman special from the previous week, in fact, Superman was fighting the Cyborg.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“I CAN’T FLY!!!”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer).

DISSECTION: Get ready, for this book is one big dissection. Let’s start by the fact that Flash asks for Martian Manhunter’s help to go up a few feet in the air, when he’s been shown to use his speed to create whirlwinds to carry him up and stuff like that.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“I KEEP CHANGING MY COSTUME DESIGN AT SUPERSPEED TO ANNOY PEOPLE.”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Flash (Wally West) is in this issue, and his lightning bolt keeps shifting, sometimes it’s joined (pointing down to his crotch), sometimes it’s not joined, at some points it loses the serrated edges. Look at this page below, Leonardi, can’t you at least keep things consistent within the same page?

It keeps getting worse all through the issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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“NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOW YOU DON’T!”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: God, look at the third panel from the above page, not only is Flash’s belt missing, his glove lightnings are gone! Same on page 18!

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“DON’T LOOK AT ME!”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller) and I.L.L. (colorist).

DISSECTION: Damn, his mask covers his entire face! And the same on page 18!

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
[------------------------------------------]
“NOT FLASH.”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Whoa, his chest emblem is blank! And it’s gone again on the next page! And on page 16! And on the statue on page 18! I’ll quit it with the exclamation marks!

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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“I KNOW HE’S A SHAPESHIFTER, BUT…”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: I’m done with Wally, but look at that panel again, what the hell is up with J’onn’s right shoulder?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“YOU KNOW, DYES AND THE DCU.”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: I.L.L. (colorist).

DISSECTION: Wally’s hair is colored blond instead of red during the whole issue.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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“MARTIAN MEMORY IS SCREWY LIKE THAT.”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Justin Gray (writer) and/or Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 12, J’onn’s brother talks about Starro and the re-formation of the Justice League, and shows Superman, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Orion fighting Starro. To my knowledge, and backed up by my research, Orion never faced Starro, but the Star Conqueror. Furthermore, Orion and Hal Jordan have never been members of the League at the same time.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
[------------------------------------------]
“FIRST TIME! NOT REALLY….”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: See if you can Dissect This!

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
[------------------------------------------]
“NOT HAWKMAN!”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Same page, Hawkman’s missing his chest emblem. Argh!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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“WE ASKED HER TO WEAR THE FISHNETS THAT ONE TIME.”

TITLE: JLA: Classified.

ISSUE: 44.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Page sixteen shows Black Canary in the Bwa-Ha-Ha League when it’s first formed, and she’s wearing her classic costume, when she wore her “dance outfit” during that period.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars. Eleven dissections on a single book. Wow.
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“DA-DA-DA DE-DE-DE.”

TITLE: Runaways V2.

ISSUE: 28.

CULPRIT: Joss Whedon (writer).

DISSECTION: *Sigh* I already ranted on this before, and on this same column: Joss Whedon is a good writer, and he’s getting the hang of Runaways… except for Molly. Joss, she’s supposed to be around 12, not five, she shouldn’t be saying things as “extra-trestal”. Although, with kids being how they are these days, I’ll buy that she thinks that “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” is a song from around 1907.

DISSECT-O-METER: 9 Bazzars.
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“HALF A QUESTION MASK.”

TITLE: Star Trek: Alien Spotlight: The Gorn.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: David Messina (artist).

DISSECTION: Are these Star Trek books going to be remembered as “Star Trek: Comic Books: Overuse Of: Colons: To The Infinite: Overdrive?” But I digress, this was a good first Alien Spotlight, even though there’s not much to the gorn to spot a light on. They’re just reptilian Klingons. The art is acceptable, if not to my liking, although it suffers from the same ailment that all IDW Star Trek comics are suffering: poorly detailed art. The worst case is this panel, and look at Chekov:

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, dammit, where the hell are his eyes?
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“GEE, IF ONLY WE HAD A SPACE COP IN THE TEAM!”

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Superman captures some Dominators experimenting on humans, and then damages their ship, leaving them with enough power for-life support. He sets them adrift in space, saying that “the Justice League will contact the appropriate interstellar authorities”. Or, you could just, you know, call a Green Lantern yourself, couldn’t you Clark?

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“YOU SURE TRAIN THEM WELL, RIGHT BATMAN?”

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer).

DISSECTION: Superman and Chris Kent (God, I don’t know if I like that name, or if I find it too cheesy) fly into the Batcave, and since the biometric sensors of the place don’t have the youngest Kryptonian registered yet, the alarm goes off. Apart from the fact that I don’t think Bats would set an alarm to go “BLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANGBLANG”, Robin goes “AAHH! THE PERIMETER ALARM!” This is Robin, Mr. Busiek, he wouldn’t scream like an old lady, he’d be on his feet and ready to defend the cave against intruders.

DISSECT-O-METER: 7 Bazzars.
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“SUPERMAN AND HIS DOLL SON.”
TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Rick Leonardi (penciller).

DISSECTION: Look at this panel below. Rick, haven’t we talked about details?

Superman has no nose, his eyes are dark pits, and Chris looks like a freaking blow-up doll!

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars.
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“THIS IS A DISSECION.”

TITLE: Superman.

ISSUE: 668.

CULPRIT: Kurt Busiek (writer) and/or Comicraft (letterer).

DISSECTION: On the final panel of page seventeen, Superman says “stating” instead of “starting”.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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“THEY’RE STREET CLOTHES, FOR ZEUS SAKE!”

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

DISSECTION: Good book so far, I’m sure Miss Kitty Fantastico would like it. But the dissection her is that Cassie’s outfit gets trashed, and she decides to wear the costume (battle armor) that Hercules gave her, as if she didn’t go through a dozen costumes a month while battling evil, and doesn’t any left. I don’t buy it much. I do agree with Hercules that she needed a new costume that wasn’t just jeans and a tank top.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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“THE GODS STOLE HER FACE!”

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: Sanford Greene (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page 18, Cassie is lacking a face in the first panel.

DISSECT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, people please DRAW FACES!
[------------------------------------------]
“AND THIS IS A DISSECTOIN.”

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer) and/or Phil Balsman (letterer).

DISSECTION: Hercules says “sheild” instead of “shield” on page 19.

DISSECT-O-METER: 1 Bazzar.
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“SHE’S JUST A MERE MORTAL.”

TITLE: Wonder Girl.

ISSUE: 01 of 08.

CULPRIT: J. Torres (writer).

DISSECTION: Cassandra says on page 20 “My family is the Teen Titans! My family are Diana and Donna!” Uhm… what about your mom, Cassie?

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“TWINDOW TWINDOW (NOT-SO) LITTLE STARS.”

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: Annual 01.

CULPRIT: Terry Dodson (penciller) and Alex Sinclair (colorist).

DISSECTION: This one is a leftover from a few weeks ago. Ending spread of the main story, pages 24-25, Power Girl’s costume is wrong, she has cleavage up from her neck, while her costume is closed on the top of her torso, with a twindow (you figure that one out) that allows you to see the, uhm… goods. After a lenghty discussion with Miss Kitty Fantastico (see here, I’ve agreed that it’s also Sinclair’s fault for not coloring it as he should.

DISSECT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars.
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“I’M JUST ANOTHER STRIPPER, THE REAL VIXEN IS BUSY.”

TITLE: Wonder Woman V3.

ISSUE: 13.

CULPRIT: Julian Lopez (penciller).

DISSECTION: On page seventeen, Vixen’s costume is wrong, she’s not even wearing the Tantu Totem.

DISSECT-O-METER: 10 Bazzars.
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“WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW, DYES ARE ALSO POPULAR IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO.”

TITLE: X-Men: Die By The Sword.

ISSUE: 01 of 05.

CULPRIT: Rob Ro (colorist).

DISSECTION: So, did we really need a separate mini for an Excalibur / Exiles crossover? We couldn’t do it inside one of those books? Well, I guess Exiles is already busy with… whatever the hell Claremont is doing with the book, and New Excalibur just got cancelled. Plus, why do it in a low profile book like Excalibur and Exiles, which only have an “x” as the second letter in their titles (well, fifth in New Excalibur), when you can have a mini that has “X-Men” as part of the title? Who cares if only half of the characters are actually X-Men, and then many of them are from alternate Earths?

Anyway, as unfulfilling as this first issue was, Claremont didn’t make any errors this time. However, even if Juan Santacruz manages to make Psylocke look Asian, Ro colors her hair black, not purple, as her hair usually is dyed.

DISSECT-O-METER: 4 Bazzars.
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Wow, that was a long column, with 50 dissections, and a (un)healthy rating of 6.2 Bazzars. Seeing as to how this was a long column, I’ll go straight to the DAYAMN! moment of the week. It comes from Green Lantern V4 #24, and while it was a good issue, it didn’t make pick of the week for best book. However, it did get best moment of the week, in a sequence that made me very happy.

Hal Jordan, John Stewart and Guy Gardner free Kyle Rayner from Parallax, and the Guardians Sayd and Ganthet imprison the creature inside the earthmen’s power batteries (Guy’s has a Michigan State sticker!). Kyle takes back his ring, and they all recite their oath together… I was so moved, that I recited the oath out loud along with them. Take a look:

Damn cool indeed. That’s it for now, until next week, I’ll be on the outlook for more dissections, because (almost) nothing escapes…

THE DISSECTOR!

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