TNA Victory Road PPV Results - 7/15/07 - Orlando, FL
Results from gerweck.net
A week late and a dollar short, as my old man used to say. Let’s just get this over with quickly…
Christopher Daniels won the 10-man Ultimate X match to become #1 X-Division Contender. The opening part of the match was an Elevation X match, where if you were thrown out over the top rope before all ten men entered the ring (at 1-minute intervals), you were eliminated. You know, I don’t even think that AWA’s Team Challenge came up with the complicated rules that TNA uses sometimes. So, before Senshi came in at #10, Puma, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, and Sonjay Cabdriver got eliminated. So, now it’s a 6-man match before it even got started… nice false advertising there. Anyway, the only big spot after all that was Frankie Kazarian hitting a Diamond Cutter on Daniels off the top rope. The focus of the match was basically to hit Daniels with as many cars as possible while still allowing him to win the match. After the match, I guess Daniels, Elix Skipper, and Senshi reunited as XXX, and I’m pretty sure no one cared.
Backstage, Brother Ray Dudley cut a funny promo about how he would be the first 300-pound X-Division champ. Meanwhile, Samoa Joe said he can’t trust Kurt Angle… you think? Even more meanwhile, the Voodoo Kin Mafia said that TNA has a new rule that says you can’t hit women, so they have a new member that will solve that problem. Yeah, but I still don’t think we’ve conclusively proved that Chyna was a woman ALL her life…
The Voodoo Kin Mafia defeated Basham & The Damaja. Before the match, VKM brought out Roxxi Laveaux, some voodoo priestess who apparently had a lot more credibility in Shimmer. Think Ariel from ECW, except trashier and more strung out. The live crowd CRAPPED ALL OVER IT BIG TIME. Maybe it’s time to just unhitch the trailer to these two retreads and just let them roll down the hill. Lance Hoyt ran in and hit Kip James with a big boot. Meanwhile, BG James ran in with a chair on Damaja, allowing Kip to make the HURL-CULEAN comeback and pin him. Way to sell. After the match, the broads got involved, Roxxi did a voodoo dance and hit Christy Hemme with a Dominator. Great way to explode some implants there.
Backstage, Angle channeled the JYD or something and claimed it would be “shake and break time”. Will he also do the shake, rattle and roll all night long and do some shuckin’ and jivin’ too?
“Cowboy” James Storm defeated Rhino. REALLY. NO KIDDING. This was obviously one of those “this guy’s been in a tag team so long that we need to feed him somebody to kickstart his singles career” matches. Actually, the action was much better than that… you would think it wouldn’t be looking at it on paper. Guys were fighting in and out of the ring, but Storm used the BUDWEISER OF DOOM to get the win. You’d think that TNA would card the guy or something. You never saw Steve Austin win a match that way. After the match, Jackie Moore showed up with some more beer, and Storm dumped a keg on Rhino. Classy, especially when you consider all the drug and alcohol allegations being thrown around during the Chris Benoit investigation.
Backstage, Jerry Lynn and Bob Backlund called Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley a couple of disrespectful rookies, and Backlund said he’s against drugs, cheating, lying, and swearing. What, no spitting?
Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley defeated Bob Backlund & Jerry Lynn. Backlund ran in at one point, allowing Kevin Nash to sneak in and give Lynn the big boot. Sabin & Shelley double-teamed him to get the win. The pre-match promo was more exciting than this.
Backstage, Kurt Angle attacked Jay Lethal in the bathroom. I’m sure there was a prison rape afterwards off-camera.
Eric Young & Gail Kim defeated Robert Roode & Ms. Brooks. This match demonstrated the lack of EEOC in TNA. It’s not okay for the men to hit the women, but it’s okay for the women to hit the men. To wit: Kim punching Roode in the head and Roode and Brooks double-teaming Young. Oooooookay… anyway, Kim and Young hit Roode with a double dropkick, and Kim got the pinfall on Brooks. After the match, Roode got into it with Ms. Brooks and shoved her. The no-violence policy officially got the shove there. She got mad and depanted him, revealing a thong. I’m pretty sure we didn’t need to see that.
Christian Cage defeated Chris Harris. Dustin Rhodes showed up to apparently distract Cage, but then Tomko ran in to distract the referee. Rhodes jumped in and hit Harris during the confusion, and Cage rolled him up for the win. This was a solid wrestling match until the Bobbsey Twins showed up. Apparently the finish took forever considering what they were doing.
Sting & Abyss defeated AJ Styles & Tomko. Abyss wouldn’t sell for Styles, which was kind of bizarre when you consider their history. Lot of brawling in and out of the ring, but this was a pretty quick match for the semi-main. Abyss hit the Black Hole Slam on Tomko for the win. After the match, Abyss’ half-father James Mitchell came on with a voiceover telling them that the Doomsday clock is ticking. Let me guess, it’s a guy that shoots fire and Abyss burned him up when he was a kid and they both have the same mother but different fathers, right?
TNA X Division Champion Samoa Joe became TNA World Tag Team Champions in the Match of Champions. Apparently, I hadn’t realized before this match that the tag belts would only go to one person. This was more of a classic tag team match, which you rarely see in the main event of a PPV anymore. Late in the match, Angle received a 3D, but Rick Steiner ran out to stop the pinfall. Scott Steiner ran in and hit Brother Ray in the head with a pipe, but Angle broke up Joe’s pin. Angle went for the Angle Slam on Ray, but Joe knocked Angle down and got the pinfall for himself. After the match, Joe showed off his three title belts.
I guess while there was nothing overwhelmingly bad, there was nothing overwhelmingly good. TNA seems to be kind of schizo lately, and that main event and the match they’re having at Hard Justice is a very bizarre track to take for all the championships in the organization.
