Timbaland - Shock Value
http://www.timbalandmusic.com - $$
Review by - Angelica LeMinh
Dear dope producers, please do us a favour and JUST PRODUCE. Somebody had to say it, and lest I date myself here like a little old lady remember the days when teenagers held doors open for us, does anyone remember Puffy and Jermaine Dupri back when they didn’t scream their own names over everyone else’s tracks, date Janet Jackson, or design clothes/run marathons?!
Timbo came into the game later on, when it was already established by the aforementioned yahoos to namedrop, but at least his ish was fresh. Tim, Magoo (nice to hear his Q-tip sounding self on a track here), Missy, Da Bassment, Ginuwine, the production was just sick and defined the mid to late ’90s, but we’re not working with Aaliyah no more, are we? And I’m not just saying in terms of her passing (rest in peace), but Tim’s traded up to move on up the “blue eyed soul” bandwagon in the biggest way, pulling in millions with Justin (”whiny bitch” that has to work so hard to completely jack Michael’s style) Timberlake and Nelly Furtado. And there’s nothing wrong with getting paid, a decade will do a lot to colour one’s perception on what it means to stay alive. And it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to write that catchy crackpop that has the clubs of the world flossin’ to monotone vocals and candyfloss lyrics.
The intro is at least tighter than Puff’s to Press Play, though sets out to “prove” the same point, that these men are scrambling to justify themselves as non-sellouts, but as we all know, the harder you have to insist that you are something, chances are that you really are not. But we would all be remiss not to heed the claim, “recognize the game/Timbaland ain’t gonna run nowhere/Timbaland got private planes”.
Hand claps and applause close out his onanistic backpat, and the sentiment returns later on Scream (featuring songwriter Keri Hilson and Lead Pussytwat Doll Nicole Sherzinger) when he closes that track with a monologue that is almost as long and perhaps more painful that LL’s “Six Minutes of Pleasure”, “you like my swagger, you like my style, you like how I switch it up? Yeah, I like it too”.
Now he stated publicly that he wanted to help a certain poor lost baby-dropping soul, but I think he’s hiding behind his Camp Goldmine as he’s slanging barbs like “while your bitch bald-headed like Britney Spears” (he also references Anna Nicole Smith in this song, thereby shouting out both of the blondes who managed to hog all the media coverage in February, therefore whiting out Black History Month), and as Missy claims “hold up, hell no, like Britney Spears I wear no draws”. Her sole appearance is quite disappointing, on Bounce, as she seems to have lost her mind along with all that weight that currently makes her face look too baggy, talking mess like “like a porn star, I’m best when I swallow”-damn. But JT’s contribution is a cocky lure of “let me see your big titties….(bounce) like your ass had the hiccups, (bounce) like we’re riding in my pickup”. And more disappointing even still than the odd dolphin talk interlude (remember the baby sample from the Aaliyah track? It’s almost as weird as the Bollywood Eminem “yeah yeah yeah yeah” on Bombay) is the fact that even Dr. Dre isn’t immune from this verbal diarrhea (or that Dr. Dre isn’t PRODUCING his own albums, but guesting on this one) as he adds his ten cents (his white protégé’s two cents is free) of, “just what the doc’s been looking for, just what I need, acting Chinese like some young ho, I got a bungalow”-what a doozie that one is, it’s my prediction for the next summer banger!
Give It To Me, the song that has the kids trading their lunches for crack shows Tim borrowing from ODB (the Fantasy remix) calling on “Califor-i-a to Japan”, and backs up Timberlake getting a bit big for his britches, shit-talking Prince, who dared to comment on young Justin being out of control, answering back with “missed you on the charts last week….if sexy didn’t go nowhere why’s everybody on my shit?” On The Way I Are, Tim brings that signature “yeah” from Sexyback and like Sa-Ra, injects a distantly slowed down sample of Push It. And, as it features Keri Hilson and D.O.E., it could be his “hood” version of “Give It ToMe,” it even starts out “I ain’t got no money”.On “Kill Yourself,” Tim joins Rihanna’s camp of assisting suicide on wax with “if I was you, I would kill myself”. Gee, is it any wonder that folks are going on shooting sprees like they have absolutely no regard for human life? Featuring 50 Cent and Tony Yayo was a perfect move, as these guys are exactly as gangsta as Timbaland, and they all know/celebrate it. The rhymes are perfectly balanced on “Come and Get Me” and this is exactly the kind of track that the industry will pay for. Long story short, lyrically, the man isn’t saying anything.
But that brings us back to the reality that he is NOT a lyricist. He is a producer, a dope one that needs to check himself before he wrecks himself, because the solo album is always bad for your health.
So, summertime will bring out each city’s one man band that you would just wish would stick to one instrument rather than attempt to play all six of them half-assedly. This summer, Virginia’s man is Timbaland. He’s really grasping at straws here, trying to be provocative with The Hives, One Republic, singing “don’t it sound good to you?” off key while the singer Elton John plays the piano on “2 Man Show,” and he even tries to make a Fallout Boy track that sounds like anything other than their usual whiny fare (and fails). (Sigh).
It’s all enough to make a girl miss her some Aerosmith and Run DMC already. It is obvious that he is trying to branch out to as many commercially valuable markets as possible, but how shocking is that, really, Mister Mosely?
