Why is Kane on the poster for a PPV when he’s not on the card? Anyway, regardless, you know the cast of characters: me, Birdsong who owns Hulk Hogan underoos, Eks the Southerner, and Corey the even more Southerner. How y’all doin’?

Here’s the long, drawn-out opening question: Ken Kennedy lost his Money in the Bank shot due to injury, but after they turned it over to Edge (who subsequently was given the World Championship after Undertaker’s injury), they found out that Kennedy’s injury was not so severe, and even if it was, he would have returned in plenty of time for the build to Wrestlemania 24.

So… did WWE jump the gun by switching the Money in the Bank from Kennedy to Edge or did they do the right thing to get the right guy in there?

The answers were a lot more controversial from our panel than I expected.

Corey: They absolutely did the right thing here. Kennedy’s injury wasnt the problem; it’s the Undertaker’s injury that led to the title situation going pear-shaped. They had to get the belt off the Undertaker, and Edge was the best choice because he is easily the best heel in wrestling. Kennedy’s injury simply afforded them a convenient way of getting the switch done. Even if Kennedy’s injury had been significant, I doubt they would given the Money in the Bank shot to Edge if the Undertaker was still healthy. This actually works out great for Kennedy, though. When he comes back, if he makes what seems like a likely face turn, he has all the tools to become the biggest star in wrestling. Who won’t enjoy watching him beat the shit out of Edge? I feel bad for the Taker, though, because he deserved the long title run he was slated for.

Birdsong: Mr. Kennedy actually had more steam behind his campaign during his US title run some months back. Him winning the MIB match was a bit of a shocker to me as in the last several months he’s been wrestling in tag-matches with MVP and Findlay. Bottom-line: Kennedy ain’t ready to carry “the main event” torch! I’d like to see him have an extended I-C or U.S. title reign, or even pair him up in a championship tag-team feud before he’s crowned as the next Jericho/Stone Cold/Rock, etc. At this point the injury is like a blessing in disguise. Edge is waaay over with all the humanoids, and the only reason why Vince won’t give him John Cena’s spot as “thee guy” is because of Cena’s marketability! Either that or it’s the fact that Edge is Canadian?

The Russ: I guess it was the most convenient way to solve the problem with the World Championship, but I wish there could have been another way to do it. For one thing, even though it makes sense, it seems like it was a kneejerk reaction to Kennedy’s injury. Oh, he’s hurt, so we’ll just take the briefcase away from him no matter what. Two days after Edge wins the title, they said his return went down from 6 months to 2 months. OH WELL. It seems like they could have used the briefcase to build up Kennedy’s rep like they did with Edge, although it was in perfect character form for him to cash it in after the bloody title match like he did last time against Cena. Edge does deserve an extended run, and Smackdown deserves some new blood. There’s too much not to like about this scenario, and yet I still don’t like it. I don’t know. I think Kennedy deserves more than to go to Raw playing third-fiddle to the Cena and Shawn show.

Eks: They made a shrewd business decision–that’s all.  If their books are worth their salt, they’ll find a way to work Kennedy back into the mix.  This isn’t complicated–well it is, but not as much as it seems.  Let the guy heal up then have him surprise Edge (he still isn’t ready to be a Main Eventer in my estimation), but it’d be like that night that Jericho won the belt and had it stripped later in the evening–a litmus test. 

I just don’t see myself wanting to watch this show.  There is nothing to interest me beyond the Punk/Burke match except for a slight curiosity to see how the Edge/Batista match plays out.  With all the injuries plaguing the locker room at the moment, the couple of switcheroos what have been made were hasty and not TERRIBLE, but they aren’t really beneficial beyond filling a slot.

SOMETHING has to change within their creative environment.  Not 90-minute shows like Vince wants–have some faith in your performers, McMahon.  I totally think HE is the sole reason his product is failing, because he’s just too old and out of touch with his young audience.  It’s just the nature of the beast that is the pro-wrestling business.  He doesn’t want to stress over losing his sponsors like he did 10 years ago with the “Attitude” Era, so now the WWE is going for an even more shallow, safer part of the pool.  I know Ring of Honor is rough around the edges but they are coming and they may just steal the show because they can smell Vince’s bloated corpse in the water, and truth be told, sharks would rather eat the wounded or garbage than something that is capable of taking care of itself.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Eks: The most exciting match of the night–the two hottest young talents on the roster.  I WANT to see this match up.  Elijah Burke is a talented bastard who lucked up when the shadow that was hiding him got cut from the roster. Same thing with CM Punk–he’s over HUGE.  The two of these guys have the potential to carry this company to their next generation of superstars. They just need to have properly developed angles to work with.  This one feels old school with fresh talent, so it just clicks for me.  I just hope that these guys get their due eventually.  They are the best kept secrets in the WWE certainly.

Our luck, Vince and Shane will run in and do something stupid, or Snitsky will make his debut and crush both of them and this promising match up.  Yeah, I have no faith in the WWE–that last remark even made me a little more bummed out. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m babbling–I like them both so much–I’d prefer to see Snitsky ruin the match.  Kidding, I see Marcus Cor Von aiding Burke and CM Punk doing the job.  If Punk wins, it’ll be a stone cold finish before this feud gets a chance to heat up.

Corey: Is CM Punk still in the WWE doghouse? Did he ever actually get out of it? I think Burke could use a high-profile win more than Punk, but I don’t expect it to be clean.

The Russ: I think he is still in the WWE doghouse as long as Arn Anderson is employed there. I will pick CM Punk, but only because I believe that it defies logic, and that’s what seems to be behind most of the ECW booking decisions these days. In reality, though, the guy is too talented to hold down like this. The fans see right through it.

Birdsong: Shame on TNA for letting CM Punk get way. Shame on CM Punk for signing with the ECW brand. I like both grapplers, but just like the ECW brand–they seem to be going nowhere fast? Punk gets the win…and maybe some savvy writer/booker will get a program goin’ between him and Chris Benoit!

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

Birdsong: And why do I care about this match again? I think I was about 8 years old when I first saw Carlito’s old man wrestle Flair back on TBS. And honestly, that was just about as uneventful as this match’s outcome is gonna be. Carlito wins.

The Russ: You’re just jealous of Carlito’s hair. Carlito wins only because Flair winning anything at this point in his career is pointless.

Corey: At this stage in his career, Ric Flair is probably best served using what’s left of his credibility as an active wrestler to build new stars. Carlito has more to offer the WWE in the long term, so look for him to pick up the win through nefarious means. This will probably be a short, uneventful match.

Eks: Carlito over Flair, but Flair gets to land Carlito’s ex-ass.  Why? Because we love seeing our favorite Grandpa score with hot blonds.  Why Carlito?  Because he needs to be pushed or else his really lame racial stereotype of a gimmick is just going to cause him to sink until he’s off the card and featured on Heat with Val Venis. The logic on this is tried and true; the mentor and the pupil falling out and having it out.  Flair’s too old to be worrying about win columns–he needs to worry about each match being his last.  I mean, how many more backdrops can that guy take?

I love Ric Flair in all seriousness.  He’s is the prototype of what all good heels should be.  Triple H knows this.  Carlito should be studying that while he’s learning to keep his mouth shut and breaking Kayfabe too much.

The Russ: Carlito would do a lot better if he acted like he appreciated his job and didn’t look like he would rather be in the hotel bar half the time. I think pairing him with Flair is his last straw. If he doesn’t learn from him, then he ain’t gonna learn nothin’. I think it’s funny that a few years back, Torrie feuded with Dawn Marie over her dad, and now Carlito is feuding with a guy old enough to be Torrie’s dad, and she’ll probably end up going home with him.

Eks: Okay good–I’m not the only one who has noticed “the face” that Carlito makes as he makes his way down to the ring, like he’s five year old who just got a pop on the heiny for doing something stupid. He looks like he’s about to cry mixed with the face a dumb blond makes in a horror movie when she walks into a room where the killer is hiding behind the door.

He ran his mouth and look where it’s got him. Job city. Flair is a great teacher from what I understand–here’s to him helping a lost cause.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Corey: Yeah, this is a tough one to predict. HBK just pinned the new World Champion cleanly on Monday night, while Orton is once again on Vince’s shit list. Orton needs the win if he’s to retain any credibility as a legitimate main event wrestler. Too bad he’s facing Shawn Michaels. Michaels gets the win. Should be a good match.

Birdsong: HBK is in the driver seat in this one. If Orton hadn’t gotten into soooo much trouble backstage this past year, he could have reserved his spot in wrestling for one of the major brand titles. Perhaps Shawn can super-kick some sense into the kid?

The Russ: This is like a PPV version of an ’80s WWF Superstars match with Randy Orton playing Barry Horowitz and Shawn Michaels playing… well, himself, I guess. I guess the kids these days call that a Raw main event. No way this match gets more than 10 minutes, and no way Orton goes over. I loved how they treated the signing of what would have been a money match two years ago like, “Hey, wanna have a match this Sunday? Oh, sure. I’m not doing anything!” Orton will probably get jobbed out all summer for beating up that hotel room.

Eks: Hmm, which shark are we gonna feed Orton to first–ahh yes, The Great White Michaels.  Orton is going to be on the losing end of any of my match picks for the next year, because he likes to disembowel hotel rooms like he’s a homicidal maniac.  Michaels wins, even with a fake concussion!!! What’s the gain of this match?  Other than Michaels gets a notch… nothing.  You have to put your fan favorites on your card though.

I could only hope that the whole “concussion” angle will lead to something adverse happening to Michaels demeanor–he becomes “Evil Head Wound Shawn”–something that they should do to poor Nick Dinsmore–hit him over the head and have him become an evil, smart heel that wants to be like his uncle Eric. But we’re talking about Michaels–praise Jesus–he’s still up even with a concussion!  I think the WWE is making me bitter.

U.S. Champion Chris Benoit vs. Montel Vontavious Porter (Best of 3 Falls)

Eks: This should be a nice finish to a series of decent matches in a fairly “colorless” feud; it’s all wrestling when you go head to head with the Crippler, right?  MVP should win this match with some final controversy to make the fans forget that the matches we’ve seen thus far were “even Steven” without so much heeling.

This looks like an accident that turned into something good for the WWE.  It’s stuff like this that should be the meat of a PPV, not “Vince and Son Fuck Up Yet Another Match Part 11139473.” I hope that this leads to a final rematch and then new feuds for both for both of these performers. I’m going to keep saying MVP wins because, using the law of averages, I’m going to be right eventually.

The Russ: Don’t talk about MVP being colorless around Birdsong…

Birdsong: The build-up suggest that MVP is gonna win. Hell he should have won at the last PPV. MVP wins cleanly, and then maybe “the powers that be” will dump the suit and put Benoit in yet another great feud?

The Russ: I finally realized the other day that I think the look they’re going for with that outfit is some kind of Under Armour look. Unless he’s tatted up all over or something, he’s supposed to have a good physique, but maybe they don’t want him getting the 12-year-old Jeff Hardy squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal face heat or something. Anyway, yes, MVP should finally win, and I see Benoit going on to feud with Edge. I think that it would shake up Smackdown, deliver some awesome matches, and get that slug Batista out of the title scene and back into Smackdown’s doghouse like he was before.

Corey: The WWE must have a lot of confidence in MVP. Two out of three falls matches are usually reserved for wrestlers who know how to work a great match. (Think about it–you haven’t seen Batista in too many 2/3 falls matches, have you?) To be honest, MVP has been VERY impressive lately. His matches with Benoit have been outstanding, and it’s not because he’s being carried by the Rabid Wolverine. MVP has turned into a fine wrestler, and it’s time for him to take the next step up the ladder by becoming the U.S. Champion. Expect this one to steal the show. And while we’re on the subject of Benoit, since Smackdown has lost Kennedy and the Undertaker for a bit, why not let him work with Edge in a title feud for a couple of months?

ECW Champion Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon & Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley (3-on-1 Handicap Championship Match)

The Russ: Can this feud finally die? Vince McMahon is the Jeff Jarrett of WWE. He’s the guy you hate so bad that you change the channel to avoid him. Put the belt back on Lashley, and let’s all move on.

Corey: Meh. No matter how hard they try, the WWE still can’t get me to care about the dull Lashley. The ECW title was already pretty meaningless even before Vince McMahon won the belt, and giving it back to Lashley–which will surely happen here–won’t save it.

Birdsong: I pray that this match will be this feud’s end. Wouldn’t Ric Flair fit nice as Bobby Lashley’s manager? Sorta like how he carried Lex Luger during the Horsemen years… Lashley wins. And then Vince declares the ECW title vacant.

The Russ: That would be a crappy decision, but it wouldn’t surprise me that they made a crappy decision about ECW.

Eks: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit again.  This feud is pointless–we saw this match last month.  Either give the man his belt back or just discard the product.  Vince is destroying stuff that he’s spent good money on.  I’d like to tar and feather the genius behind this match. Here’s the new mantra to chant at live events: “Less McMahons, More Real Wrestlers.”

Oh, Vince drops it back to Lashley because the only matches Vince understands are stupid ones.

The Russ: Yeah, I don’t understand why they offered the exact same match this month as they did at Backlash. The feud should have ended then with McMahon putting the belt on CM Punk or somebody as his “Corporate Champion”.

Eks: Corporate Champ! (laugh) Triple H is out for a little while longer–let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

World Champion Edge vs. Batista

Eks: Could Michael Hayes be doing something smart with this feud–I doubt it.  Edge is obviously going to heel to Batista–and win.

If I were Dave Batista’s boss, this is what I’d tell him, “Dave you’ve only got one really successful role–MONSTER–no talking, nothing else–just walk in, eat your opponent and head to Hooters for wings and orange shorts afterwards, buddy.  Shhh, no talking–don’t spoil the romance of the eye show of your visual appeal, Dave.  Go crush your opponent like a good juggernaut.”

The Russ: Yes, but the same Michael Hayes says that Chris Benoit isn’t main event material because he doesn’t promo well. We all know that’s not true, but using that logic, Batista shouldn’t be main event material either.

Eks: Without a doubt, Benoit has been plagued with being “shy” his whole career. One time, me and some friends were in Tallahassee to watch Nitro or Thunder–it was a long time ago–and Chris Benoit pulled up at the same light we were at after the show. This was shortly after his move to Atlanta, so I guess he was driving home. Well, we waved and cheered and tried to get his attention, but all he did was stare forward nervously, gripping his steering wheel–he looked terrified. Dave Batista used to eat at a Hooters (after house shows) near a friend of mine in Tennessee. He would actually “hang out” and eat. That’s a little different.

I honestly, I think it really boils down to the scripted material those guys have been fed. I’m sure there have to be people on those rosters that say, “You want to me say that?!? That doesn’t even sound real.” Maybe both of these guys have a hard time “play acting” like tough guys–just a thought.

Edge is getting utilized better than he was for sure.  Is this match just setting up his tenure as interim champ–probably.  His gimmick still lacks “a hook”–something that cements him with character.  He’s really just a guy with a really lame comic book name and an attitude of arrogance at this point. I don’t see why he doesn’t shed the name and go by Adam Copeland to create an air of credibility beyond his gimmick.

I’ll watch this match because it’s a fresh match up with a sense of newness because of the “shuffle” of the roster.  Edge wins because slapping the belt back on Dave sets Smackdown up at square zero again.

Corey: This one’s a little difficult to predict, since neither Edge nor Batista were meant to carry the belt anytime soon–the Undertaker was slated for a long run. So I guess it depends on whether or not Edge is meant to be a transitional champion. Batista has finally become a watchable in-ring performer again, but Edge is still a much more engaging champion, and there were easier ways to get the belt back around the Animal’s waist if that was the plan. I expect Edge to retain, thanks to some more help from Mark Henry, who’ll need something to do on Sunday night.

Birdsong: Real anxious to see this match, even though Edge is gonna win. Though I am probably in the minority in thinking this, but this could be the match that steals the show!

The Russ: Aren’t you the minority in everything? I think it’s a foregone conclusion that Edge wins… they won’t pull the same crap they did last year at the Royal Rumble after he won the title. I forgot about The Blob returning last week, and after remembering that, I agree that Mark Henry will probably play a hand in this to drop one of his lame fat-ass splashes on Batista to put him down.

WWE Champion John Cena vs. The Great Khali

Corey: Cena is most compelling when he’s facing nigh-impossible odds. Khali certainly fills that bill. I expect Cena will eventually beat Khali, but I think the WWE will want to stack the deck against him a bit more by making it seem even more unlikely. Khali wins the title in a really, really dreadful match here, but Cena should get the belt back sooner rather than later.

Birdsong: Why doesn’t John Cena rap in the ring anymore? Oh, he wanted people to see him as a credible wrestler you say…hmm, okay? So let’s book him in a match with the Great Khali?

All jokes aside, Cena has been selling this pretty heavy. Khali’s got that ‘freak-of-nature’ thing working for him, but even if this was the 1980’s, he would not have a snowball’s chance in winning the title. Cena wins, and I am sensing an improptu showdown between him and Shawn Michaels. 

Eks: Cena. Why?  Because putting the belt on Khali would be moronic.  He’s got the worst work rate on their roster.  He’s got a gimmick akin to El Gigante minus the nude suit.  Cena, who has the modern repertoire of Hulk Hogan (whose 5-move repertoire entertained fans for years) has their biggest demographic somewhat covered–for now.  Cena’s run out of people who he looks better than in the ring.  He can’t hang with technical guys because he’s not technical enough.  You can’t keep putting up against the same two guys. Why not have him wrestle Dave Batista? At least the physicality of the matches would be strong.

This match is like bad icing and coconut on mediocre cake.  If this match is the main event–why would I pay 40 bucks on PPV to watch it?  Why would I pay 300 bucks to sit at ringside to watch Khali stink up the ring?  The WWE Championship needs to be made credible–it doesn’t need to be a ghetto spinner rim–no one cares about bling bling anymore–that’s very 2001, to say the least.

The Russ: Well, I think they’re trying to do what they did with Stone Cold’s smoking skull belt and give him something that’s unique to his character that they can also merchandise. Whether the rest of us like him or not, the kids like Cena, but the adults are louder than the kids at the live events.

Eks: Oh sure, I don’t refute his popularity with the kids demographic, the Armed Forces demographic, and the 16 year old slut demographic–and I totally agree that the belt is a way of giving him an identity, because Lord knows the guy has about as much character as some of the grass out in my yard. Don’t let it hear that I just it to John Cena. I have no expectations for this filler match that should OPEN the PPV.

The Russ: Agreed. I look at this as a way to job Khali out and elevate the top stars before he’s shown the door.

Eks: Khali doesn’t need to be shown the door–he needs to be shown a developmental territory. The problem is that Big Men are such an attraction. I mean, Khali walks and talks like a Mexican Frankenstein (I know, Frankenstein was German…) but he’s got this presence–having seen him live last December in Augusta–I was like, “Yeah, wow, that dude IS big…”

I just think no one knows how to train a big guy who’s physical prowess is a little different (because of his health being different than a normal guy’s) so they tend to feed off the image and brutality and power only. No skill, which is kind of disappointing. Paul Wight, in the beginning of his career, was the second coming of Andre the Giant. Khali is so far removed from that legacy I can’t even compare the two.

All in all, I think this is a night of wrestling that should be used for SNME–not PPV.  The matches are, for the most part, lackluster.  There’s nothing really amazing about the card–that makes me want to scream, “Holy shit, I’ll sell my blood to afford this event!” Ring of Honor is coming Vince–take this seriously, history tends to repeat itself.  You just may not be the winner this time.

The Russ: Which by all accounts (ROH) was an awesome show live by the reports from last week, will be affordably priced on PPV compared to the alternatives, and was less expensive to produce because it was taped, which means they’re not trying to overreach right off the bat. They’re already planning a second show up in Chicago.

Eks: The guys behind ROH are smart, without a doubt. I never got to meet Gabe Sapolsky–but I saw him at an FIP (Full Impact Pro; it’s the Florida sister fed of ROH, which is centered around Pennsylvania.) He’s very involved with the show, he sat in the same section that my boss and I were in–the promoter I worked for spoke very highly of the ROH/FIP product and he admired Gabe’s work. They have several great gimmicks–Bryan Danielson is like a combination of the look Crazy Bob Backlund from the ’90s, the stage presence of William Regal, and wrestling style of Shawn Michaels blended with a little Kurt Angle. I’ll be checking their stuff out. They seem to have scared the WWE into opening a developmental territory in Florida. If that’s not a nod their way, nothing is.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 18th, 2007 at 8:57 am and is filed under Corey Henson, It Came From the Midcard, Jonathan Birdsong, Russ Ray's Rasslin' Ring, Steven Eks, The Russ, Wrestling. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will be moderated but will appear as soon as humanly possible.